A Collection of Funny Jokes

The beautiful emerald green she loved had turned blood red. "Harry..." she squeaked feebly. His lips curled maliciously, "Not anymore." ~~~ The Final Battle is over and the Order lost. In the last hour Harry Potter changed alliances, pledging his help to Lord Voldemort rather than his friends. But a small part of the resistance still lives, working behind the scene to piece together the mystery of Harry's choices and still looking for some way to cause the downfall of the Dark Lord. But with their numbers dropping by the week, it comes down to the most unlikely of people left to fight to the end. *TW: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH IN THE FIRST CHAPTER*

It's Mikey's birthday again and he's turning 31! Alicia wants to have kids but Mikey isn't ready to stop being a kid just yet. He wants unicorns for his birthday! He keeps on wishing, until his birthday wish comes true. Unicorn Land is a beautiful, scenic place-- until he meets the princess who claims to be his wife, The NegaCorn and other unthinkable creatures that do not seem to belong in Unicorn Land. Will his wish turn out to be a curse? Gerard, Frank, and Ray have to explore other vast universes before they find and rescue Mikey. Will they be able to find him in a very unlikely dimension of unimaginable distance from their own? Will he still get to celebrate his birthday? And most importantly, will Mikey return home alive? This is a comedy/ suspense/ horror-filled MCR fanfic-- NOT AS HAPPY AS THE TITLE SOUNDS! IMPORTANT NOTE: THIS WAS WRITTEN BEFORE MIKEY'S CASE WITH SARAH. *Originally posted on Quibblo.com by BleedingForMCRandFOB (my account there). I transferred it here because someone copy-pasted my MCR Ghost Story onto FicWad. I don't want the same thing happening again.*

Draco gave a cocky grin. "I am going to give you a makeover." "I'm sorry what?" "You heard me Granger, I'm going to give you a makeover that will make every man want you,and make Weasley die of regret. You will be simply irresistible." Now Complete!

If there was one thing she was terrified of, it was losing me. And after four years, vice versa. She was the one person I never wanted to lose, the one person I couldn’t handle losing. And I lost her. Jayden thought she was a perfectly normal girl who just happened to have weird dreams about being a completely different person, a gun shooting, ass-kicking Time Lady with the fake name Artemis. It's not until she meets the Doctor that she realizes that those weren't just dreams. As a Time Lady again, can she get over the pain of her past? Can she handle the pain to come?

Did you know the most favoured day for suicide is on Mondays? No? What about slugs have four noses? NO? Have you heard that really funny joke where-YOU HAVEN'T??? WHAT PLANET ARE YOU ON! QUICK QUICK QUICK READ THIS BOOK NOW! Phew! And to think you were about to miss out on all this awesomeness!