❝ 021-819-4426: so what's my name in your phone? ;) ❞ « in which five teens come together in a group chat to cheat on mr. kang's physics exams.

To anyone else, the thirtieth of April wouldn't signify an important holiday, but exactly one year ago today, a strange boy in a small diner began to ramble on about zippers and their importance and about how no one gave them enough credit. It was that day that changed my life, I just didn't know it then.

"You're an asshole," I blurted. "You're such an asshole that your actual asshole is jealous." Silence. What the hell did I just say? Out of all the insults, I choose one that makes the least sense? Damn it, why couldn't I just have been born normal... Wait, never mind. Psh, screw sanity. "Can we keep her?" Tyler suddenly says, bouncing on his tippy toes. "Please, Keith? Can we keep her? Huh, huh, huh?" What am I, a pet? "Keith" whipped his head towards Tyler so fast I could've sworn I heard a crack. "Keep her?" he echoed. "No, Tyler, we can not keep her." Thank you. "She's utterly useless to us, and you want to keep her?" I gasped, placing a hand over my chest. Useless? Damn, these people are rude as hell. "But," Tyler whined, walking over to me. I tensed all over when he squished my cheeks together. "Look at how adorable she is. She's just so innocent... you'd never suspect anything bad from her." Keith expression changed, to one I knew very well from my experiences with Val. Lightbulb. "Tyler, you are a genius," Keith says. Tyler's hands stop squishing my cheeks. "I am?" "He is?!" everyone else says. Keith doesn't reply, just keeps on grinning wickedly. And suddenly I have a feeling that I am not gonna make it out of here alive. - WARNING: VERY CRINGE WORTHY MATERIAL NOW AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE http://www.lulu.com/shop/angel-zenith/the-gangleader-kidnapped-me/paperback/product-23087208.html Highest Rank: #1 in Humor April 19, 2015 CoAuthor: DreamCreature

❝This is IKEA's help center speaking. How may I help you?❞ ❝My testicle is stuck.❞ © sonderingly

a/n: I will begin to edit 'Zeus' at some point, but updates will be slow as I am a student in my final year of university. I hope you'll enjoy the rework. [Book One] What would you do if your life was turned upside down? If everything you believed in was wiped completely, only to be replaced with a world that you'd never have thought was real? That's what happened to Anya. Saved by a man who is named after the God of Strength, Anya is thrust into a world of fur and claws, and is made to live with a bunch of people who seemed to take pleasure from naming their offspring after Greek gods. Yet it is not the brother who saved her who Anya falls for. One man, with a temper that could take on a fight with thunder and lightning, he's the man whose soul belongs to her, the man whose story is told in the prophets of his pack, the only one who can destroy the demons of her past. His name is Zeus.

Hannah Taylors finally gives in to her desperation and does one of the stupidest things a girl can do to grab her unapproachable long-time crush Jonah Gibbs' attention: spill soda on his white shirt and leave a motherfrigging red blotch on it. Accidentally... on purpose.

Every King needs a Queen. Sebastian isn't going to let his slip away, no matter how hard she tries. +++++ Sequel to Million Dollar Man

Gangs. That was the one thing that had ruined Evelyn Summers life since the start. With her brother being the leader of “The London's Eyes,”growing up in a world of cruelty was something Evelyn Summers had to become accustomed to. But thing's about to get a whole lot worse. Gangs are starting to form all over London- with the intention of destroying London's Eyes. What will happen when the leader of the most powerful gang offers protection in exchange for Evie? Will Evie be able to survive Sebastian King? She just might have to- because as we all know, Sebastian isn't planning on letting her go any time soon. +++++ Our breaths were heavy and ragged, our chests skimming against each other. "You're no good for me." I whispered, my eyes searching his emotionless ones. "Well that's just too bad, now is it?" +++++

Brighton Montgomery is your average teenager, slightly witty, and socially awkward. When she is forced to move from Ohio to Forks, Washington, to be with her father and his new family, she encounters something she wasn't really expecting.