PERSONAL ASSISTANT NEEDED. People skills optional. Ability to take drink orders preferred. Personal mode of transport a MUST. To Reply, Contact Dr. M's home office: 1-555-TRBLE-4-U (Idiots and those prone to knock-knock jokes need not apply.) ◎ ◎ ◎ Nobody in their right mind would respond to a help wanted listing so vague. Enter, Robin Banks. The wacky exploits of a narcoleptic super villain and his reluctant sidekick. [COMPLETED FIRST DRAFT - #22 in Humor on 4/12/15]

For best friends Mestoph and Leviticus the end of the world can’t come fast enough. Mestoph is a demon and troublemaker for Hell Industries, while Leviticus is an angel and cubicle jockey for Heaven, Inc. They might be unlikely friends, but they have something in common – they both hate their jobs. Unfortunately for them The End is nowhere in sight. The two take matters into their own hands when they come up with a scheme to get themselves kicked out of the Afterlife without spending an eternity in Purgatory. Their misadventure will take them from the tiny town of Truth or Consequences, NM to the highlands of Iceland as they cross paths and pantheons with Neo-Vikings, Greek and Norse Gods, and a Scottish terrier named Sir Reginald Pollywog Newcastle III. Content Warning The story you are about to read is intended for mature readers due to its content and language. It may not be appropriate for all audiences. Please read at your own discretion.

"Sometimes it's best to stay out where you're not welcome." Demented will chill you to the bone, for these are not your usual bedtime stories. From a son who wants to teach his mother a lesson, a deadly myth on Kingly Road, people who have a certain bizarre diet, to some of the most terrifying things your head could barely even conceive-these stories will give you goosebumps, shivers, and more. There are also stories about a vengeful unborn baby, a psychotic babysitter, and a creepy bus that leads you to hell. These tales will torment your head with eerie echoes and haunting screams, and compel you to turn and check what's lurking behind... every few minutes. With twisted scenarios that will make you second-guess who you can and cannot trust, these are stories that may tell you what could actually be hiding under your bed... or perhaps make you realize that they're not under the bed... and that maybe you're the monster.

Madness can only be written in blood. //#1 in Horror, #1 in Action, #34 in Humour and WATTY AWARD WINNER: One of the Most Addictive Stories of 2014 and Featured Story//A Horror Comedy by 8tracks// You can't spell 'manslaughter' without 'laughter'. An adventure in which she takes great pleasure in seeing a whole lot of blood. CAUTION: Contains sick humour and terrifying insanity. Thus, no lighthearted readers allowed. // Are you ready? Because "some say to survive, you have to be Mad As A Hatter." Cover by @xHeyItsAnnax amazing trailer by @carpe-di3m

Death is ready to visit a new world! Based on the published novel and Wattpad sensation, Death is My BFF is now a webcomic! Experience the story like never before now only on WEBTOON! This is a VERY rough, early draft of "Death is My BFF" and the published version looks very different! :) ****** (2014 WATTY AWARD WINNER!) The legendary Angel of Death has spared Faith Williams' divine soul. However, this merciful act comes at a price. When she turns eighteen, her soul and everything that she is, will belong to him. The problem? Faith's not going to hell without a fight. Death isn't the only creature that has taken notice in her uniqueness. Demons, monsters, one vengeful demi-god, and a notorious playboy are all wrecking havoc on her life. Torn between two worlds, Faith must decide once and for all whom she can trust, and whom she can allow herself to love, before all of hell breaks loose. Even if it means striking another deal with Death. * * * FAQ: HELLO, YOU BEAUTIFUL PERSON! :) You CAN read this story without reading the Original Death series. DEATH IS MY BFF REWRITTEN is a total rewrite of the first draft of "Death is My BFF", which I wrote when I was 14. The ORIGINAL series is on my profile, but it does not line up with this book. Again, the book you are currently on is "Death is My BFF Rewritten," which is part of the Rewritten Death Chronicles, and this book does not line up with the original Death series. Again, the Rewritten Death Chronicles will share similarities to the original series, but should be considered a SEPARATE from the series I wrote when I was 14! Please enjoy!!!!! Xoxo, Katarina E. Tonks * * * JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP FOR THE DEATH SERIES!!! (Thank me later!!! LOL.) https://www.facebook.com/groups/308207282529485/

"One of the funniest books you'll read this year."--Publishers Weekly I Love Girl is a story from collection The Last Girlfriend on Earth by bestselling author Simon Rich Love can be messy, painful, and even tragic. When seen through the eyes of Simon Rich it can also be hilarious. In thirty short, sharp, ingenious stories, Rich conjures up some unforgettable romances: An unused prophylactic describes life inside a teenage boy's wallet; God juggles the demands of his needy girlfriend with the looming deadline for earth's creation; and a lovestruck Sherlock Holmes ignores all the clues that his girlfriend's been cheating on him.As enchanting, sweet, and absurd as love itself, these stories are Simon Rich's Valentine to readers, an irresistible collection of delights. All that's missing is the heart-shaped box.

NOW FEATURED IN A CONDENSED VERSION IN THE IMAGINES BOOK!! --You work on the set of the Avengers as a makeup artist. For Tom Hiddleston. As time progresses you become great friends; and then the movie ends, so you're forced to part ways... right? Wrong. A romance that has hilarious problems, and wonderful heart. Tom Hiddleston x Reader