They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)

*ALL RIGHTS RESERVED* Clarisse Hornitt is a nerd. Or a geek. But, not your typical nerd/geek, as she won't put up with bullshit and will promptly tell you how it is regardless to how it makes you feel. She manages to get into a physical altercation with a certain football player at her high school...and well...drops herself into a whole mess of trouble she'd never expected. *ALL RIGHTS RESERVED*

What if you had a chance to go back? A second chance to do all the things you wanted to do but you were too afraid to try, a new opportunity to live your life how you want to or to mend all those mistakes. You could have friends. Spend time with your family. Go to Jane’s party! Learn to drive a motorbike. Maybe even fall in love. What if you could have a chance to do all those things you never did? I’m sure that if you die and see your life flashing before your eyes and all what you see is nothing but a dull life, you would also want to go back and change everything. I’m lucky because the day I had to die was also the day I got a second chance and this time I plan on doing everything I want and having no regrets. You never know when your day last will be so better live now instead of waiting for a better opportunity. Why saving yourself for the future if the future may never come? This is the story of how I got a chance to rewind and mend my life.

My feet hit a particularly slippery patch. Without warning they rocketed out from under me. Mr. Break and Enter came with me, courtesy of me re-establishing my grip in his shirt in a failed attempt at anchoring myself. Pain started in my backside and travelled up my spine, but I was paying it minimal attention. I was too busy being consumed by the heavy weight on top of me and marvelling over the deep smooth voice muttering in my ear. “- never doing the old man another favour, so long as I live.” Before I could collect my scattered thoughts the person on top of me reared back to rest his weight on his elbows, an action that caused his hips to press down into mine. My breath caught in my throat as my startled gaze met his. A pair of vibrant green eyes stared back with more than a hint of annoyance bleeding out of them. Full lips were pressed together like he was biting back an insult directed at me, and locks of black hair framed a near symmetrical face, one with high cheekbones and a strong jaw line. “If you’re going to kill me, I’d prefer it if you didn’t do it with an axe,” I blurted. I immediately cursed my runaway mouth. Come on, brain, where are you? Time to join the conversation. Dark brows drew together and he leaned even closer, almost like he was trying to assess my sanity levels. “What?” Embarrassment was pushed back in favour of deep suspicion. “Well, if you’re not here to kill us then I guess you want to rob us. Go ahead. Annabel has some expensive luggage that will sell for a nice buck. And take her Hello Kitty collection while you’re at it. None of us will be sorry to see those creepy cats go.” The boy on top of me shifted his weight and used one of his hands to brush the curls back from my face. With a gentleness that surprised me, he cupped one of my cheeks. “Are you okay?” he asked, clearly concerned. “Did you hit your head when you fell?”

(previously named but,hold on) | Part I of 'The Lost Words' trilogy | When the messiah is met with a hinderance on the road, even he, as a leader, needs a lending hand. ~ "Nathan, what's going on with you? Where are you staying now? If the police see you..." "Trust me I'm safe. I wasn't going to stay away until I could see you at least once, but I can't stay for long. I wish I could see the others, but it'd be too complicated. Here." He hands me a letter. A letter I hope will hold the answers I'm looking for. ~ [started November 14th 2014] [finished June 19th 2015] [Winner of @SykeContest 's Teen Fiction awards] [Highest ranked: #178 General Fiction, #367 Action] (self made covers. I do not own any of the pictures used.)

Based on a true story. A heartbreaking love story. Your past comes back how will you fight against it? Though you love him so much how will you live with all the heartache, lies and pain between the two of you. How will both of you deal when your life together changes so drastically? Will you fight for this love?

**WINNER of The People's Choice Watty Award** Finn Harlow met his soulmate in kindergarten, but fate wasn't kind and she ended up marring his best friend. After years of watching in silent agony, he's certain he's met a girl who can finally mend his broken heart--until he finds her in the arms of her lover. In walks Holden Drake; dark, mysterious, and dripping in confidence. All the things Finn wishes he was. He promises to turn Finn into a modern-day Casanova and offers a guarantee that no woman will leave Finn again. But something about Holden doesn't seem right and the deeper Finn pries, the more he stumbles into a world of sex and scandal, leaving him forced to decide if he will risk it all to chase his first love, or succumb to the invitation and join Holden's club.

Kennedy (Kenna) isn't known for her beauty. She's never been complimented on her appearance unless being called beautiful by your family counts, and to Kenna- it doesn't. Sick of being ignored because of her looks, Kennedy gives herself a makeover but it isn't very successful. After encountering a crying Marissa Rivers on the behalf of her obnoxious brother, Noah, she becomes acquaintances with the girl. After a chat about Kenna's failed efforts at makeup and how she's a nondrinker, she offers Kenna the help of her and her friends. Kenna graciously agrees but there's a catch. Kenna will have to be the girls' designated driver to the next few parties that they want to attend until she can do her own makeup which may take a while but what happens when Kenna accidentally gets drunk at one of the parties and Noah has to bring her and the other girls back to their home? She gets involved in a lot more than she planned. And it seems as if all she wanted was to become beautiful.

Allie is and always has been overweight. Constantly being bullied by a group of guys at school, she finally decides to use their comments as fuel to her fire. With her best guy friend helping, Allie transforms herself the summer before her senior year. The good and the bad, Allie finally sees what it's like to be thin.

❝ if a clock could count down to the moment you meet your soul mate, would you want to know? ❞