•Idea taken from my short-lived Duff fic titled "Don't Stand So Close to Me", a story named after the Police song of the same name.• Guns N'Roses is broke. Really broke. Forced into a job hunt against his will, Duff McKagan struggles to make ends meet by applying for a job at the nearby Catholic high school, where his aunt rules as the principal. A series of unfortunate events quickly promote Duff from school janitor to English teacher. While the pay is great, the school days mercilessly hack into his band time. Worse still, Duff begins falling for the mysterious Mary Tate, a gorgeous senior who is all too eager to become the teacher's pet. Duff is soon discovered and pursued by the school's math teacher, a sadistic nymphomaniac bent on revealing Duff and Mary's affair to the entire community...that is, unless Duff can strike up a deal to save his tail.... This wasn't in the job description. ~Obviously, mature content.~

Izzy Stradlin gets struck by Cupid's arrow when he sees a gorgeous red head at his local coffee shop. What he doesn't know is that there's a catch to love at first sight: the girl is deaf, and has no idea who Izzy or Guns N Roses is. Not only is Izzy not used to having someone not know who he or his band is, but he has never had to chase after a woman before. Can he win her over, or will his words get lost in translation? Used to be titled "Lost in Translation", but I've decided to make it the first book in the "Count Your Stars" series. Enjoy! Rated R as always :) ~Completed~