catherinewakefield
You were my star!
Her warbled shriek pierced through that hollow space in my chest. The way she cried was like mourning a death-but I was sitting right there, next to her. Mother.
You were my star!
Past tense.
Ever since him-the monster, the snake of my youth-I'd lost my shining, shimmering pure-white perfection. I didn't live for that anymore. Couldn't. It hadn't kept me safe.
The model, rule-following daughter was out. Now, I chased distraction. I lived for a thrill. I got wrapped up in anything that might take my mind away from those scars.
That's how I met James.
How did it get this far? We'd agreed on boundaries. They were written into the way we'd met-an arrangement. But somewhere in those loose curls that hung below his worn out ball cap, the thickness of his old flannel, or those crinkles by his eyes that betrayed his age, I lost sight of how this had all started.
The comfort of his arms was a cage I could've hidden away in for the rest of forever. Problem was, distracting myself in James meant distracting myself from precious things, too. My best friend Ariel? I missed her cries for help. My young student at school? Suffered and neglected. Mother's heart? Shattered into a million pieces.
Retreating into James' safety could only keep my world from unraveling for so long. My past couldn't be outrun. And my trauma refused to be swept aside.