Sirius Black screwed up. He told Severus Snape about Remus's secret. Now, he's been expelled from Hogwarts where he is forced to take the Dark Mark and join Voldemort's side of the war. As time rages on, he falls darker and darker. Maybe he'll escape. Maybe he'll join Voldemort for good. Maybe he'll die somehow. He doesn't know. All he knows is that he's starting to lose himself in a desperate attempt to survive. Everyone hurts him and nobody cares about him. The only person he can trust is himself because it's every man for themself in the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. Or Sirius Black is forced to join the Death Eaters while being helplessly in love with Remus Lupin.

The instinct not to breathe underwater is so strong that it overcomes the agony of running out of air. No matter how desperate you are, you won't inhale until you're on the verge of losing consciounsness. Sirius knew that. He stood there, staring down to the black, cold water and pondering, would it be easier just to jump. He was on the edge, not just of the quay but of his own mind and sanity. The fall wouldn't kill him. The waves would. ... This is a Remus x Sirius Hogwarts years fanfiction I started writing a while back, in wich Sirius struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts. Remus tries his best to be there for his best friend, but his state of mind isn't the healthiest either. Contains triggering stuff, please don't read if you know you can't put up with stuff like ABUSE, SUICIDE, strong language or VIOLENCE. Also, all of this is based on the characters of the Harry Potter series. The cover picture is from tumblr and I added the name of this fic on it, so I do not own it. All of this is written by me, partly based on some of the events from my own life and suicidal thoughts I've had a long time ago, so please don't copy the storyline as it's partly very personal. Hope you'll like it