-requires basic knowledge of blur, oasis, suede, pulp, elastica, etc. >requires basic Madchester knowledge as well >will have some cameos from obscure bands like echobelly and sleeper >female pronouns >bisexual reader >!smut! SATIRE

Have you accepted the Lord and Savior Justin Long into your heart? With his thick eyebrows and kind smile, how can your heart not melt when looking into the boyishly brown eyes of the true American Sweetheart? Justin Long has delivered his prophecy unto us all, and it is time for you to be saved by reading the story of his life.