Book Two of 'The Tales of the Royal Lunatic' It has been scientifically determined that Emilee Kate Willows is most definitely insane. Well, not really scientifically but it's just something everyone knows- the sky is blue, the Beatles are awesome and Emilee is crazy. But the problem is that not exactly EVERYONE knows. Maybe the whole of the U.S., tops. The poor people in Astria were innocent and oblivious until their new princess came along. Boy, did they have another thing coming to them. This is Emilee's version of Meet the Parents, only they don't need a lie detector and she's got a ton of people who want to kill her. It's nothing personal, she's just the mate of the vampire prince that everyone hates and killing her is like taking away the prince's soul. Her charm never had a chance. Will she be able to survive life as part of the royal family? Will she EVER meet a smurf?

"It's so simple," I say. "All we have to do is pretend we're in love with each other. You know, hold hands, share Eskimo kisses and all that crap. And at the same time, we'll destroy Jackson and Kristina's relationship. Make them think that their not right for each other. And next thing you know, you'll have Kristina, and I'll have Jackson, and everything will be how its supposed to be. Are you with me?" "Fine, I'll do it." He leans in close to my ear. "But don't get too attached. Remember this relationship is strictly business."