*'BEST PHANFICTION' WINNER (FANFICTION AWARDS 2018)* Daniel has anxiety and crumples paper to calm himself down. Phil has ADHD and diminishes hearts to bring himself up.

"because as you know all too well, my dear phil, i sometimes want you to just drop dead." "ah, but you see, the feeling is mutual, howell." |serialkiller!phil x depressed!dan| |lowercase intended|

Dan is a dancer, but it's his best kept secret. Moving to a new college results in new friends, new hobbies and a new outlook in life; but what does it really mean to be human? A series of strange and seemingly unconnected events unfold that all seem to link back to Dan's mysterious new boyfriend. etcetc phan with kickthestickz This story carries some warnings, however they're p much all spoilers except non-graphic violence and injury on one occasion, and non-described minor character death. No major character death and no self harm. Please message me if you think you'll need to know the TWs! To avoid spoilers, you can give me a list of things you don't want to read for whatever reason and I'll let you know if they're in the fic or not :)

Dan Howell is a timid boy, who always does as he is told. He was once friends with Phil Lester, the 'bad influence' who soon ditches Dan for the popular group in Year 7. After five years of not talking to each other, they're partnered in a project and Phil's wants to win Dan over just like he has with most of their year. But yet, Dan is determined to find out what Phil is hiding behind his arrogant mask.

Playing music has always been a big part of Phil's life. From the time he was five, and banging spoons against the table, to present day; seventeen years old and apart of the upcoming Alt. Rock/Everything-In-Between band, Heinous. It's an easy life to live, he's sure. Making music with his best friends, trying to avoid failing high school the best he can, and getting his parents to stay off his back about 'that God-awful noise'. And there's Dan Howell. His sex-on-legs, hot tempered boyfriend, who miraculously shares his love of music. It's like they're meant to be. You know, except they're apart of different bands. Rival bands, to be exact, with every member hating the other, with a vengeance. They know damn well not to publicise their relationship, not with a certain competition coming up that could make or break them; the tension would be off the charts and would do nothing but cause unwanted drama. But you can't keep secrets forever. And with the stress of practice and their band members on their backs, it's getting harder to keep it in the dark.