Okay, we all pretty much know what happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, but we all want more. Something new. Something weird. Something slightly PG-13. Well, here you go. The truth about Star Wars (aka the Star Wars Urban Dictionary aka your new favorite book.) Read on for weirdness. (THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. It's supposed to be a book set up like Urban Dictionary, a website with definitions for everyday words [and also fandom-y things like Star Wars] written by people online. They can be weird at times, but that makes them funny. Don't read if you don't like Urban Dictionary.)

Order 66 has been long passed. The Jedi, for the most part, have been exterminated, and the Empire has stretched over vast areas of the galaxy. Yet the Empire has not completely obliterated the Jedi. Kemberli Wan-Oba, a young human girl, has been brought up on Aetheria, a small planet in the Outer Rim, by a surviving Jedi Knight known as Yurlon Batado. For over a decade they have escaped detection. This peace cannot last, however, and Darth Vader himself arrives to destroy the only world Kemberli has ever known. He kills Master Batada and leaves Kemberli alive with the ominous choice of "die, or join the dark side." Alone, unsure, desperate, Kemberli falls to the dark side.... And begins a life she never imagined as the apprentice of Darth Vader. But the dark side is full of mystery, and while it gives Kemberli power she has never dreamed of, it begins to show her shadows of the past she has never known...