the procrastination nation list
2 stories
Sex and Death in Skeleton City by Jazzua
Jazzua
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Geoff and Naomi are dead, and they're depressed, but when Geoff's cat Bernie dies as well, they embark on a wild journey to find it in the underworld. ***** When Geoff dies, alongside his girlfriend Naomi, they end up sharing an apartment in the Underworld as skeletons. But after a few years, Geoff starts suffering a mid-death crisis. What's the purpose of going through the motions as a skeleton if you can't really live? Then he gets word that his cat, Bernie, just died and he can collect him and bring him home! Geoff and Naomi hurry to get Bernie only to discover that, due to a clerical error, their cat has been lost. With the hunt for Bernie giving new purpose to Geoff's un-life, he and Naomi begin a quest to get back their cat. Battling skeleton pirates, climbing the sky ladder and facing off against the villain who took Bernie, Geoff is determined to find his purpose - or die a second time trying! [[2018 Wattys Winner - The Originals]] [[word count: 30,000-40,000 words]]
I Don't Seem So Bright in a Well-Lit Room by Sean_Browning
Sean_Browning
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"This book speaks to anyone with a neurodivergent brain, that may feel like an alien here on earth. I swear Browning made me laugh and cry and question reality...sometimes all in the same sentence." -JD Todd, author The universe is a very strange place. It will take even stranger heroes to save it. Potto is dim-witted, extremely forgetful and incredibly naïve. He wasn't always this way. Aye-Aye is devilishly shrewd and has boozed his way into a comfortable existence of incompetence and sleaze. How they ended up being two of the most wanted aliens in the galaxy is anyone's guess. Chased down by every oddball bounty hunter in the known universe, and befriended by a libidinous assassin, a fire-breathing reptilian, and a telepathic tree, their misadventures take them past Earth (the mall planet), to a floating sex circus, a planet of killer stuffed animals, an underground spaceship impound lot, and to a planet of reasonably priced bungalows. All while flying around in a ship powered by the brain waves of a psycho killer. A great prophecy proclaims that only "one of light, and one of dark" can save the universe from the dictatorship of The Node. That can't be Potto and Aye...Potto doesn't know what the word prophecy means, and neither know how to spell it. Part sci-fi epic, part absurd dark comedy, I Don't Seem So Bright in a Well-Lit Room is a comment on human behavior, depression, anxiety, and self-esteem. But way more fun than that sounds. So, do up your space seatbelts...it's going to be a bumpy ride. Despite the lack of potholes in space. (Sci-fi /Dark Humour/Absurd) *Completed! Enjoy! Highest rankings: #1 Adventure #1 Action #1 Science Fiction/Sci-fi #1 Misadventures #1 Absurd #1 Mindbending And all because of YOU. Thank you. *Now available in paperback from Story Well Publishing anywhere you like to order books! www.storywellpublishing.com Merch available at: www.theseanbrowning.come