a live collection of short stories "as they happen" here on Wattpad, beginning with the title track which owes its meager existence to @NicoleCandySLV

Update: This story has been discontinued. - I am terribly sorry. Your mother lied to you. She told you that you were unique, and that as a teenager you have a whole bunch of options you can choose from to determine who you want to be. She must have been high. Look, I'm going to tell you this honestly. Somewhere out there in this floating sphere of green and blue, there's a person who acts just like you. It's the combinations of different personalities - which eventually lead up to an actual human being - that makes us all unique. But it can't hurt to find out where your personality stems from, right? Wanna know who you are? I'll help you out. There are 36 students in my classroom. Which one are you?

Noon is your average, everyday psychopath who fell in love with her hero. She knows when he tries to kill her, it's just his special way of saying how much he cares. She knows every time he throws her in the insane asylum, it's just his overprotective side wanting to keep her close. She knows when he stabbed her in the heart, it was his declaration of love. But the Gentleman is a shy man. He just won't admit his feelings. Noon has tried to coax him out with flowers. She has tried cheesy Hallmark cards. She has tried pushing him in front of a moving train. Nothing has worked. Until now. On a very special day, Noon throws a very special dinner. The food has been prepared. The decorations have been placed. The guests have been kidnapped. All that's left is to wait for the guest of honor to arrive.

We all know exactly what we should be doing, in order to make it big on Wattpad... but what about the stuff we're not supposed to do? This book will cover 70 of Wattpad's darkest sins, the mistakes that can send a user's story down to Wattpad Hell faster than a click of the 'unfollow' button. If you have observed any atrocities or just want to vent, leave a comment below and let the hate flow through you!

You've never, ever read a book like this. When a sexually-transmitted plague breaks out in Ashley Young's small town, leaving its victims with a bizarrely amplified libido, everything about her life changes. DEAD IN BED is partly a suspense thriller with a strikingly unique story, partly a page-turning mystery about a disease that makes people hopelessly crave sexual contact, and partly a neo-western adventure in the American heartland. For readers who can handle a smart, controversial female protagonist who's willing to do anything -- no matter how difficult or morally questionable -- in order to survive, the series pulls them in like an unshakeable addiction. . . . Bailey Simms, teen author of DEAD IN BED, is stuck at home with a rare medical condition. Writing is her only escape, so she's determined to keep her salacious series hidden from her strict father. Soon an older boy starts to secretly help her, and Bailey finds new opportunities for freedom she's never had. But as DEAD IN BED grows in popularity, and Bailey's fans start to clamor for the sequel, she learns that being a successful Wattpad author may come with a terrifyingly dangerous price.

Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

Nightingale is human - or would be, had it not been for the manner of her creation. Genetically engineered and grown to adulthood in a lab, she was created, not born. Why? For the sole purpose of the entertainment of rich men as one of the many Inamoratas in the bordello business . Beautiful, elegant, a superb dancer and an even better singer, she is the perfect lover for any man. Perfect, that is, except for her personality - the one thing you can't engineer.

WATTYS WINNER!!! Paris Hilton, angry about the character of Willow Pape in Kim Kardashian Hollywood, uses her magic powers to trap Kim Kardashian inside the game, forever. Kim must escape the game and get back to the real world in order to defeat Paris once and for all.

Introduction: Would You Want to Know? This is How You Die: Hematoma This is How You Die: Murder This is How You Die: Under Collapsing Shelf This is How You Die: After Many Years, Stops Breathing, With a Smile on Face