Mountain Dew Quickscope is a totally average and normal seventeen year-old gamer who likes games and weed and other stuff. Plus, he has exceptional skill in quickscoping, noscoping, dragscoping, and trickshotting. His best friend is a hyperactive thirteen year-old adolescent named Daniel Doritos Blazeit who is a trash talking gamer who claims to be an MLG player and says he slept with your mom every day. Together, they go on crazy adventures on the world of Badassia. One day, they were approached by some old guy who revealed that they are two legendary heroes foretold to take down an ancient hacker who threatened all of gaming in an ancient prophecy written by Lord Gaben himself. With this, their lives are changed forever as they set off on an adventure of a lifetime. A remastered version of the original I decided to rewrite after procrastinating and suffering from writers block/depression for a while (read: more than a year). Probably the highest quality shitposting you'll ever read. WARNING: DO NOT READ IF EASILY OFFENDED BY BLACK HUMOUR, EXCESSIVE SWEARING, SOME SEXUAL SCENES, EXTENSIVE GRAPHIC DETAIL, AND DRUG USE. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. THIS IS A WORK OF PARODY. NOTHING SHOULD BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. Cover design by me.

In an everyday training session for Project Freelancer, James gets selected to join a unit who’s entire purpose is to compete in a training exercise against other teams, which are also handpicked by Freelancer Special Agents every year. When the commanding Freelancer of James’ unit is injured in a mission, he finds himself in command of a group who are generally un-badass material.

Read through the journey of a professional MLG quickscoper in his quest to stop the Illuminati from taking over the world.

An ancient alien relic is found by an asteroid mining crew, which turns out to be much more than just a strange black opaque cube. Logan, brother to one of the miners, is whisked away along with several other specialists to work on a secret project. Under the watchful eyes of their personal Security Special Forces agents, Logan and colleagues begin to become suspicious behind the motives of the Jackson-Stone Corp. Jackson-Stone Corp. is the largest company in the world. With two space elevators, the company monopolized space trade, mining, zero-G tech development and many other facets of the worlds economy. The company even controlled the government of New Congo. When the power of the cube is harnessed, will it be used for good or will greed turn humanity down a dangerous path? This is a working rough draft of my first novel, i would appreciate any feedback that anyone is willing to give. I have not yet finished the novel, so some parts will be more polished than others. Thank you.

Mountain 'Dew' Quickscope is a 17 year-old gamer who likes games. And weed. And has exceptional skill in 360 noscoping people off a bridge. Daniel 'Doritos' Blazeit is his best friend and is a 13 year-old trash talking gamer who claims to be an MLG player and says he slept with your mom every day. Together they go on adventures together in the crazy world of Mlgolia. When the two are chosen to fulfil a prophecy, their lives are changed forever. And by that I mean they get super MLG powers and all other crazy dank shit. This is a retarded story I decided to write, with completely no planning and brainstorming. I just write what comes to mind. Are you havin' a giggle there, m8? Swear on me mum, I'll deck u. WARNING: DO NOT READ IF EASILY OFFENDED BY BLACK HUMOUR, EXCESSIVE SWEARING, SOME SEXUAL SCENES, EXTENSIVE GRAPHIC DETAIL, AND DRUG USE. STORY HAS BEEN MARKED MATURE. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR GIVING YOU PERMANENT BRAIN DAMAGE.