These poems express what I'm going through and how I feel about my Anorexia and how I'm surviving through it.

Amanda Rose is too young for her best friend to be dead. She went to bed to one world and woke up to an entirely different one the next morning when her best friend, Roxanne, committed suicide, leaving Amanda behind with only one missed phone call, a message she can't bring herself to listen to. And then comes in Orion Mathers, Roxanne's ex-boyfriend and the reason why everyone in Madison high school turned on Roxanne. Amanda blames him for what happened since to her nothing was wrong until he revealed her unusual eating disorder. But then, to honor her best friend, a former model, Amanda decides to take part in modeling competitions in her place in hopes that if she won, things would start to make sense again. But she soon finds out, the deeper she gets into the model world, the harder it is to come out. She sheds being Amanda, the boring, shy friend of the dead girl and becomes Mandy, the more outspoken, beautiful girl. Mandy is distant toward her family, develops an eating disorder of her own, and just wants to win. Her family, her wild child sister, and even Orion urge her to stop but she can't now. Maybe not ever. 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 - 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞, 𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐭. (𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧. 𝐈'𝐦 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐠𝐧𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞, 𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐀 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐧𝐨

"I want to grow up" Did you say it when you were a kid? I know I did. Have you regretted growing up at some point in your life? Have you wished you could be a careless child once again? I know you have. Everyone has. The more you grow the bigger the challenges, the obstacles, the pain. Life gets serious. You get serious. You forget to smile at the morning sun shining down your face. You are too absorved by your problems to notice the beautiful world surrounding you. And when life gets hard, you wish more than anything to turn back in time and be that small child who did not know anything when he said "I want to grow up"

Pause for a second and imagine this: the person you love is dying, but you can help. You can give them a few more months to make memories, laugh, cry. But at what cost? (Thank you to @TalatheWolf for the summary)

When kids are young and full of innocent wonder, they're asked the question that will haunt them far into their adult lives: what do you want to be when you're older? Kyleigh Frost's answer to this very question was that she wanted to be thin. Ever since she could remember, all she wanted to do with her life is to be the skinniest girl out of everyone she met on the streets. If she couldn't be the brightest kid in her school or win the next cycle of America's Next Top Model, she might as well be the thinnest one there. After all, to be fat is the biggest sin one could ever commit in today's society.

Anna never expected to be fired from her long-term job. And she never expected to walk in on her fiance with another woman. With everything going from bad to worse, she leaves behind Michigan and stays with her friend, Casey in London. While waiting on her Visa to be accepted, she prepares for life in a city she knows nothing about and finds that it's not what it's cracked up to be. That is until she meets her new boss, Aaron. He's rich, handsome and cocky - everything Anna hates in a guy - but there's just something about him that drives her crazy. Mixing business with pleasure is something Anna is not willing to risk, especially on a guy like Aaron, but he's willing to fight for what he wants, even if it means giving up everything he loves. -- NOT EDITED -- There is a name change half way through the book, however, this was never edited because I tried to commit suicide. I was depressed and unhappy with myself. I know the name change is annoying but you've been warned.

The NEW and REWRITTEN version of this story can be found on my profile! @KellyLM

Harry. He's new. A small town and school like this notices him from a mile away. But why is he so different and self-reserved? His eyes turn darker than usual at times, reflexes incredulously fast, and sometimes it intrigues me. But what's this boy's deal? He seems to be hiding something...

"Our deal was 19." Harry whispers, brushing our noes in bit of a playful manner. His dimples deepening from either side as a fair giggle left my mouth. "I'm yours."

Yes, I lost my father and he was the best man in the whole world. Yes, I have a stepmother who is a witch and whom I hate most passionately. Yes, I have two stepsisters that are a pain in my arse and who lost their brains when they were little. Yes, my life is like a cliché from a bloody fairy tale, but you know what is missing? The fucking Prince Charming! And where is he? Nowhere to be found! Probably he's dancing in his palace with a stupid and empty-headed Barbie. Arsehole. Who needs him, anyways? Certainly, not me. I'm almost Cinderella, but you can call me Ella. BOOK #1 in the Aware Princess Series flower: Gladiolus, t symbolises "Strength of character, honour, conviction."