I stare at him horrified. it couldn't happen my life was already ruined, and I don't want it to be ruined any further. No! It can't happen! I screamed in my head and clutched my head with both of my hands. "No. I don't want this" I whisper shaking visibly. "Adiba... please calm down... listen I want to tell you something.. just calm down" he tried to calm me down in a very gentle voice but how can I? did he forget what he did to me? if he then I will remind him. I look up at him and wipe my tears furiously and clean my face. sighing I said. "I want to abort" I exclaimed and his gentle face turned into his usually angry face. "What the f*ck did you say?" he yelled and take step toward me. but I didn't flinch this time and matched his angry face with mine. "I said I want to abort this sinful thing!" I screamed at top of my lungs. "Shut the fu*k up, Adiba! this is not a thing and not sinful at all" he screamed back grabbing my both arms. and I gave him hateful glared "It is! did you forget you RAPE me!" I screamed and he suddenly left my arms and hurt made its way to his eyes. "Did you forget you RAPE a married woman" I yelled grabbing his collar. "I didn't! But still, it's not a sinful thing Adiba... it's our... It's our halal child... Your my.. my WIFE Adiba!" He said his voice cracking and a lone tear escaped his eyes and I was staring at him like he lost his mind. How can I be his wife? I am already married to someone else. ****** #1 in emotional. 15/10/2020 #2 in emotional. 18/10/2020 #1 in obsession 11/03/2021 #1 in Muslim 11/03/2021

That day she left me with the world we created out of our love.... Our child. I stopped believing in love. I had already lived my love story but responsibilities don't wait. I remarried. Not for myself or for love but for my child. Marrying someone else felt like a betrayal even though that's what my first love wished for on the death bed. Then she entered my life. I was never going to love her. Because how can I love again when my heart still belonged to someone who was now no more in this world? She didn't replaced my first love. She slowly created a place in my heart and unknowingly I was healing. But loving her would mean my first love was less but then time made me realised that love doesn't replace, it expands. This means my heart even after breaking, knows how to beat 💓 Sometimes love doesn't come again to earse the old story but to remind you that your heart still have the capability to feel ❤️ I didn't leave my first love behind... I just made room in my heart to love again 🤍