What if Harry Potter made a deal with Voldemort? The light really fucked up on this one. "Ruin me then, my lord." Oh he would, in a way you wouldn't think. But, a baby running around the dark lords home wouldn't be too bad would it?

The story is my tribute to all snarry shippers out there. A nasty and menacing potionmaster, a smart and cocky Gryffendor brat, heated dialogues, lots of sex, Occlumency lessons, cutting remarks and much more. I hope you enjoy the journey through seven years of hogwarts which are far more my taste than the books. xoxo dreamingboy

Waking up at 12 Grimmauld Place wouldn't have been something concerning except for a few things. 1. Harry had fallen asleep in the Eighth years' dormitory. 2. He wasn't even in the right bedroom at Grimmauld Place. 3. Sirius Black was standing right in front of him, looking very much alive. #2 in Wolfstar 12/30/20 #1 in timetravel 1/7/21 #1 in harrypotter 1/27/22 ~Drarry~ Cover made by @Wuismyrealname

*This story is complete and will not updated any longer check out the revamp When Blood Comes Calling.* A strange turn of events, a mysterious baby is left on the front steps of Sunderland Orphan Asylum. He has only one name on the blanket which read Hadrian. The green eyed baby with a lightning bolt on his forehead grew to know that he was special but didn't know what yet. At the age of five years he leaves the rotten place he has called home, which coincidentally burnt down the next day. A disgruntled old headmaster is wondering if Micheal hadn't been the boy-who-lived and is has been his twin but he has been presumed dead. Now a new Dark force is making its way up again, was this Dumbledore greatest mistake naming the wrong boy-who-lived? I do not own anything that belongs to this world, only this plot.

If you dont like dont read

Harry! You seriously put a swear word in the title?! the author asked outraged. "Well I've just been brought back to my past just so you can write a Crack AU!" Tough luck, there are children reading, no swearing! "You're kidding! I lost all my progress and my identical t-shirts ! Seriously! I want my identical t-shirts back!"

Ron's current awkward predicament was all Harry's fault. Mostly. Sort of. Regardless of who was to blame, Ron couldn't help but wonder how he'd gotten here: bent over double with his own dick in his mouth ***Written for the HP Crack!Fic Fest 2020***

Some of my close friends and I got high and played this game where we collectively wrote a fanfiction so here's the result. For context, each of us had roughly 3-5 minutes to write our section of the fanfiction based on the part that came before it.

Eighteen year old Harry who finally killed Voldemort and is so done with life wounds up in Tom Riddle's fifth year. He finds himself at the age of 15 once more and enters the same year as Tom. He forces himself to not utter a word about his future, scared to change it, but when Harry accidentally slips out that he was hit with an AK twice times things start going wiry. Basically no one believes him and he realizes he can talk about his life since no one will believe him. He quickly earns himself the name "Harry Bonkers" for the things he says have happened to him. He also infuriates Tom. Tom learns to like it, though. Crack! Tomarry. P.S. I read a fic similar to what I am deciding to do. I truly do not not what it's called but basically Harry talks nonchalantly about his life which no one believes and he is called "Harry bonkers", I think the main plot of the book though is Harry screwing up Riddle's plans and stuff. All the credit of that idea goes to whoever made that fic. I simply wanted to have a go at my own version.

Harry hesitated briefly before deciding to agree and go out with Tom. If it went horribly he could cry about it to Hermione over a tub of ice cream, listening to sad music and ruining her couch. 'Yes' Harry thought excitedly 'this is a great plan!'