"HI I'm Liam" "Hi I'm Niall" "And we're..." *they both turn to face you, noses poking out your phone screen* "...right behind you" *the disappear from the screen and you can feel the breath forming behind you. ----------------------------------- Pain. Constant. My back aches with the unbearable weight of my problems. Ever since Kevin ate the lower part of my spine I've needed Paracetamol to null the pain. But- after a while, to cope with the pain, my brain mutated it into the one man that helped with the agony. Liam Payne. The only issue is, once I take my meds, he disperses What would you choose. Your pain, or your Payne?

UPDATE !1!!1! i dON'T like one direction anymore so this story is cut short at 12 chapters cause honestly I have no inspiration or reason to finish it, PLUS it does have any plot and isn't going anywhere at all :/

Liam Payne X Reader Soulmate AU Features all the One Direction members !!!! DISCLAIMER : THIS IS SATIRE. PLEASE READ IT THOUGH WE'RE VERY FUNNY DISCLAIMER #2 : THIS IS NO WAY REFLECTIVE OF ANY OF THE PEOPLE IN THIS FIC, BTS, ONE DIRECTION, OR OTHERWISE. IT'S ALL A JOKE. Yes, we purposely included overused YA clichés mmm

Liam met me on a bridge when he was a bridge troll, but I broke him out and now hes attached to me. GASP! I try to sell him off but he wont leave. I think he might be a chucky doll!!

you are a stripper, you have a hard life, living on the streets, and while youe in your club a hot guy walks in he asks you for your number and you.....

Liam gets a new puppy and he is only four Turing five and he gets the puppy for his birthday

Hmmm I guess you got the wrong number.

**A tribute to the late Liam, may you be at peace and rest easy** Chloe finally got her childhood dream, a One Direction reunion. With Zayn! Of course she had to attend. As the show ended, she went to look for the toilets but it was full so she snuck about in hopes of finding one that isn't open for the public. Just when she thinks she finds one, she gets trapped in a store room. However, a knight in shining armour opens the door to see her scurrying to the open door but she was far too late. "You idiot, now we're stuuuu-- you're Liam. Holy shit you're Liam." And.. she faints. !! READERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED !! Contains strong languages and mild sex scenes. Contains mentions of mental health and suicide. May contain drug/physical/emotional abuse.