Serj gets into a fight with shavo after Sick New World and gets punched into Colorado. He flies into an Illuminati meeting and gets injected with a mysterious substance which turns him into a cat!

dont read this please its so bad im prob gonna rewrite it eventually 😭😭😭

!Female reader! A collection of silly little stories with my favorite Armenian man Serj Tankian. Originally it was supposed to be a one and done book but I changed my mind teehee. Fun fact: the year the story is taking place is hinted by the serj picture in the banner 😛

You were just a young teenage girl who knew nothing but black leggings, gray sweaters, and white privilege all her life. But after your mother sold you to System of a Down in exchange for weed money, everything changed. Now you live a life of drugs, rock and roll, and inter-generational trauma from the Armenian genocide. How does it end? Read to find out! - A satire of the "Sold to One Direction" trope. Crack with plot. Rated mature due to (comedic) violence and foul language.

{1999 system of a down} *ੈ✩‧₊˚ celia, who lives in a trailer home in compton, is immediately infatuated with a man who habitually smokes cigarettes outside of the gas station she works at. she finds herself getting closer to him night by night- just hoping that he may feel the same way. *ੈ✩‧₊˚ "sweet thing, i watch you burn so fast it scares me."