A smile twisted onto his lips. "Oh but darling brother....you expect me to be so merciful..." On that fateful night of Halloween, Dumbledore makes a fatal mistake; the wrong boy-who-lived is named. Soon after, Harry James Potter was thrown in Azkaban for no authentic reason at the age of 7. He happens to be incarcerated in the same prison cell as Bellatrix, Rodophlus, and Rabastan Lestrange. It's across from his godfather, Sirius Black, who often accesses the Lestrange's cell via his animagus form. When he is eleven years old, a single lonely brown owl shivers as it passes through the Azkaban wards. It is delivering a letter to one Harry J. Potter in Cell 777. Harry, who was trained and taught beforehand by Black and the Lestranges, recieves the letter with unsuppressed glee. He will have his revenge.

What would have happened if Harry had gotten the diary Horcrux instead of Ginny? Harry is confused about many things. Why won't Dumbledore let him stay at Hogwarts for the summer instead of go back to the Dursleys? Why won't Ginny leave him alone, even after he tells her he's gay? Why do Ron and Hermione keep meeting with Dumbledore and not telling him about it? With the help of his new friend, Tom Riddle, Harry answers these questions and more.... (Tomarry) Do not read while eating or drinking or in the middle of the night. This book is very humorous. Apparently.