Ashton's life has turned upside down. He's fallen in love with his best friend, and his depression's started up again, but now it's even worse than ever. Ashton becomes really good at hiding his feelings, but is hiding them really a good decision?

"Hey, Ash. You don't remember me. I'm your boyfriend, Luke. We're in a band, with our best mates, Calum and Michael. You... uh, well you're suicidal. That's what got you in here. You tried to kill yourself. But you don't remember that either, do you? Huh, the doctor says you might never remember these things. Ever. I miss the times where you were too shy to say,'I love you' unless I said it first. But, I guess, in a way, this is a good thing. I might have lost you, but now you don't remember what you hate about yourself. In itself, that's good. Now I don't have to see you hurting. But now, everybody has to see me hurting. I miss you so much, Ash, but I can't tell you that. It'd freak you out, and then, I'd have lost you for good. I'm just going to have to hold on to the slight possibility that you'll remember me to get myself through this, Ash, because, otherwise, I don't think I'll be able to handle this. I love you, Luke x." ~Please read the first book first 'You Don't Hear My Cries

Sometimes it’s better that you don’t really have to feel anything. { copyright @stellatbhh (originally @whoanohemmo), 2014 }

"Please stop! You're hurting me!" "Don't fight me, Luke, it'll just make it worse." Or in which Luke is being abused by a boy named Ryan and he feels helpless to do anything about it out of fear. He's sworn to silence but can Ashton save him? // tw for abuse, rape, self-harm, attempted suicide // {Fully Edited as of 18th Nov 2017 // 28 Published Parts} (Highest rank - #177 Fanfiction, #316 Teen Fiction) (3rd place in Up and Coming - Lashton Awards) cover template © lottesgraphics pictures © cHae

Ashton is okay right now. He's always like this after a bad bout. He starts off saying that the world is his oyster and he loves everyone, but when the energy and fresh success fades, so does he. Luke knows. He knows about all of Ashton's problems. He knows about the time Ashton was bullied nearly to the brink, the family deaths and friend losses, and the ups and downs, the latter of which seem to be more common lately. It's been so easy lately for Ashton to slip after a joke gone wrong, or a jab on Twitter. Ashton always says he's sorry, repeating it again and again if only to convince himself. Luke knows he's sorry, knows that he can't help it. And he'll sit by the bathtub for hours, holding Ashton, to make sure that he knows someone loves him. None of the other boys know. Ashton couldn't bring himself to tell them and face their disapproving stares too, and he wouldn't let Luke tell them, so he's stuck in this half state of secrecy and confession to Luke. Ashton hasn't gone too far yet, not far enough that Luke can't patch him up with gauze, antibiotics, and a long hug. But someday, someday, Luke knows Ashton won't be able to take it anymore, and Ashton will die. And Luke will be all alone.

Ashton can't take care of his own brother, so his parents hire a babysitter. © goldenstarkey | 2014

5 Seconds of Summer & One Direction -crossover- Multiple Ships. warnings: triggering. anorexia, self-harm, depression, bullying, swearing. Disclaimer: I do not own anyone in this story. ~ "Want an oreo?" Who knew one sentence could change someone's life so much?