They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)

Emma van der Bilt is clever, snarky, and spoiled rotten. William Knight is cocky, impatient, and slightly dimwitted. So how exactly did Will manage to kidnap Emma and her best friend twice and live to talk about it? *** "What the hell-" I screeched. "Good morning, sunshine." I looked up in alarm and saw the smirking face of my kidnapper. His face would have made me a lot angrier had it not been terribly swollen, thanks to yours truly. "I'd say good morning, but judging by the boner on your face, I'd say you weren't having such a good morning." His self-satisfied smirk fell almost instantly, and his partner-in-crime laughed out loud from the driver's seat. "Actually," he said, "I'm having a pretty good morning. My luck's about to change. You wanna know why?" I didn't answer. "I'll tell you why. I've successfully kidnapped the daughter of one of the richest men in the country." "Don't start counting your lucky stars just yet. This isn't over yet," I snapped. "Isn't it?" he asked, raising the eyebrow above his good eye. His other one remained in a permanent squint, and it made it kind of hard to take him seriously. "I'm not the one who's naked and tied up in a stranger's back seat." I glanced down at myself and noticed for the first time that I was in my bra and panties. Honestly, I was kind of relieved. When he'd said "naked," I'd assumed he meant birthday-suit naked, not half-naked. *** Warning: Rated PG-13 for sexual content and language. Mostly language. I have a colorful vocabulary.

Taylor Williamson is fun-loving, rich, and a self-proclaimed wimp. Eric Knight is sarcastic, penniless, and a sucker for the people he cares about. Eric and his brother only meant to kidnap one heiress, but they somehow ended up with two: Taylor and her best friend, queen of snark Emma van der Bilt. Taylor only meant to save Emma from her mystery attackers, but she somehow ended up in the middle of a really weird kidnapping, one she knows she should try to escape. Thing is, when your kidnapper has a smile that makes you forget what your middle name is for a good minute, escaping tends to find itself at the bottom of your list of priorities.

Diana Brooke, a hunter with an infamous title that can reign terror even to the hearts of grown men, ventures on an undercover mission set on the other side of the border; wolf territory. It's a simple assignment; blend in, return, and report. After all, what's so hard about acting meek in an academy brimming with teenage wolves, even with the succeeding Alpha among them? Dark secrets, caffeine addiction, and a dash of wickedness brewing in their midst. Will Diana be conquered by the wolves? Or will she conquer them? Highest Ranking: #1 Werewolf

Death is ready to visit a new world! Based on the published novel and Wattpad sensation, Death is My BFF is now a webcomic! Experience the story like never before now only on WEBTOON! This is a VERY rough, early draft of "Death is My BFF" and the published version looks very different! :) ****** (2014 WATTY AWARD WINNER!) The legendary Angel of Death has spared Faith Williams' divine soul. However, this merciful act comes at a price. When she turns eighteen, her soul and everything that she is, will belong to him. The problem? Faith's not going to hell without a fight. Death isn't the only creature that has taken notice in her uniqueness. Demons, monsters, one vengeful demi-god, and a notorious playboy are all wrecking havoc on her life. Torn between two worlds, Faith must decide once and for all whom she can trust, and whom she can allow herself to love, before all of hell breaks loose. Even if it means striking another deal with Death. * * * FAQ: HELLO, YOU BEAUTIFUL PERSON! :) You CAN read this story without reading the Original Death series. DEATH IS MY BFF REWRITTEN is a total rewrite of the first draft of "Death is My BFF", which I wrote when I was 14. The ORIGINAL series is on my profile, but it does not line up with this book. Again, the book you are currently on is "Death is My BFF Rewritten," which is part of the Rewritten Death Chronicles, and this book does not line up with the original Death series. Again, the Rewritten Death Chronicles will share similarities to the original series, but should be considered a SEPARATE from the series I wrote when I was 14! Please enjoy!!!!! Xoxo, Katarina E. Tonks * * * JOIN THE FACEBOOK GROUP FOR THE DEATH SERIES!!! (Thank me later!!! LOL.) https://www.facebook.com/groups/308207282529485/