WARNING: EXPLICIT MATERIAL (RATED R) Hi guys! This is a total silly outlet for me to write Paladin "extras" - scenes that have absolutely no chance of ever making it into the actual story of Paladin, but make me - and hopefully you, too - giggle or swoon. This is not meant to be read as a companion guide, since anything I write here is not a reflection of the "real" story of Paladin. Please note the quality of this writing is likely to be, to quote Tristan, complete shite. And this is not intended for young readers, although I will try to give each "chapter" or scene an accurate rating so you can decide whether or not you want to give it a go.

Okie's fifteen. She lives in New York. She's got a few problems: she's failing geography, her dad's a wimp, and her mother, Sumatra, is a stone cold bitch. But things get a lot worse when Sumatra turns into a zombie and eats Okie's dad. Clio, Okie's grandmother, lives in Toronto; but since the zombie apocalypse, Toronto's a lot further away than it used to be. Clio suggests that Okie transport Sumatra across the border, because family is family. But coaching Okie by cellphone isn't easy, and Clio has some zombies of her own to contend with. Luckily she has some garden tools. Naomi Alderman and Margaret Atwood team up for this unusual two-hander. Encompassing love, death, sex, and the meaning of family, The Happy Zombie Sunrise Home will surprise, delight, and convince you of the vital importance of keeping ready supplies of rhubarb and mini-wieners in your freezer at all times. The story unfolds beginning October 24.