5SOSFanfictions
I met a boy who looked at me the way I had longed to be looked at my whole life. He was quiet and shy, yet passionate, determined and strong minded. The first time we met he gave me a shy smile and looked at me with his bright blue eyes. He made me laugh louder and smile wider than ever before. He’d wrap his arms around my waist in the moonlight and whisper all the things he wanted us to do and tell me things no one else knew. He memorized every part of me, my dreams and aspirations, fears, the sprinkle of freckles across my nose, insecurities, the scars I always kept hidden, how I'd always sing Beyonce in the shower even though I hated Beyonce, the way I laughed when I was nervous and how I would smile between kisses and bite my lip.
But, he also made me just as frustrated at 4am when he was drunk and wouldn't stop calling me. Even more so when it’s the 3rd time that week. He started withdrawing from me, he'd tell me he was busy, with rehearsals, travelling or touring. He decided that it's time we both took a break because he can’t commit to me anymore, not while he's on tour at least. And then he would start sleeping with other girls, just to pass the time. Then he'd call me for the 4th time that week and tell me that he still loves me and that he thinks he might always love me. I'd believe him and go and meet him and drive miles and miles just to get to him, maybe even take a flight just to be near him, then we'd kiss all night and things would be how they were before. His calls started to become less frequent, his kisses less passionate when he called me to see him I would go but it was no longer making love when I saw him, it was just fucking. I was stuck wondering what I did wrong. And he was hating himself because his pathological fear of commitment made him fuck up the best thing that ever happened to him.
This is my story of how I loved and lost the best thing that ever happened to me and all things inbetween, Luke Hemmings.