Sasha gazed into the cell phones screen. "Siri," she whispered, "do you love me?" Levi glared at Hanji, shocked that she could really achieve such a feat. The creature in front of him had a combination of his DNA and a cats DNA and could do anything like a human, except it was a cat. Levi's stare returned to the cat, and he asked, "does this mean I technically fucked a cat?" At the crack of dawn, a proud horse named Jean galloped through the streets, boasting and neighing the entire way. Her nose, Armin thought desperately. I just have to take her nose and then... YAAAAAAAAY CRACK FICTION! Oddly, I will be writing this as if it were an actual book, please enjoy! The oddness will be explained as the story progresses. Updated on Mondays!

Why would Levi be at your door so late at night, he asked you to MARRY HIM?! Its a love story between you and the corporal and don't worry it doesn't end here there's a sequel! <3 that might leave your kokoro going doki-doki <3

Reader moves to death city and happens to meet the literal kid of death. Absolute chaos ensues.