literally the title

Blair Ashford doesn't do attachments. The sharp-tongued bartender has spent her life keeping people at a distance-until one wild night ends with her waking up in Billie Eilish's bed. What starts as a drunken mistake quickly spirals into a dangerous push-and-pull of desire, tension, and a whole lot of trouble.

I just, kinda... Wish you were gay. 2019 Watty's Award Winner achieved: #1 in billieeilish #1 in girlxgirl #3 in fanfiction #1 in imagines

We were twelve and thirteen when we met. She was the prodigy. I was the girl in the seats. We became inseparable. Billie Eilish taught me how to trust green rooms, group chats, and secrets whispered during warmups. I learned her laugh, her moods, the way she'd call me Mel like it meant something. I didn't realize I was in love with her until years later-after the pet names, the late-night calls, the almosts we never talked about. When we finally blurred the line-just us, no labels-it felt inevitable. Then she cut me off for a boy with a smirk and a spotlight. He found out about us. He made sure I knew I'd never be enough. I showed her what he sent. She chose him anyway. We haven't spoken since. Now I'm twenty-one, vegan, five feet of fury, chaos, and accidental fame. My sister Mya, my best friend Grace, and I are building something real. I swore I was done waiting for Billie to choose me. But the universe? Messy. Her music keeps finding its way into my life-and my work. People keep asking about us. And every time I see her name, I remember the way she used to look at me like I was hers. She says we're nothing. I remember everything. We're not friends. We're not over. And if she wants to pretend it didn't happen-fine. Let her watch while the whole world falls for the girl she walked away from.