by eleventy7

Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

Emerson is miserable with his life. He’s constantly bullied, and his boyfriend, Matt, sides with his tormentors. When Emerson hides in the school’s boiler room to escape everyone, he doesn’t expect to find a journal. The journal looks simple enough, but inside, it contains the shocking story of a boy named Nash. As Emerson reads deeper into the heart wrenching words of Nash’s life, he is unaware that his life is about to change forever.

Iron, Neon Lights & Weed written by Anna Green, beggarsnotes on LJ around 2008. I am only posting as these are so hard to find and someone may want to read. I have a lot of them saved from wayyy back in the day, found them on a very very old laptop and managed to transfer them over, wanted to share as they are virtually impossible to find easily. ALL RIGHTS TO ANNA GREEN, BEGGARSNOTES

If there's one thing that Draco Malfoy yearns for, it's seeing Harry Potter in pain. How that happens, he doesn't care. When Potter's name is pulled out of the Goblet of Fire, Draco sees it as the perfect opportunity to fulfill his greatest desire. Except Saint Potter has luck swimming in his veins. He needs to be distracted... And the best way to do that is to make him fall in love.

Growing up on the streets of Zianna made Finn very good at a lot of things - pick pocketing, gambling, and generally sneaking around. He didn't mean to befriend Tannix, one of the richest young lords in the Kingdom. He certainly didn't mean to discover a plot to kill the King. Luckily his unique skill set, if not very law-abiding, might be exactly what is needed. Unfortunately, Tannix isn't entirely thrilled with his methods, and for some reason Finn actually cares about his opinion. Is there more to their friendship than he realizes? Greatest Thief Series book 1 Available for purchase at friesenpress.com

* Highest ranking: #1 Vampire #1 Dracula #1 BoyxBoy #2 Cinderella * Abused terribly since he was a boy, Kylo dreams of freedom. When his wicked stepsisters get invited to the handsome Lord Vincent's masquerade ball, the women believe they are going as potential brides. Forbidden to go by his evil stepmother, Kylo sneaks to the elegant manor to get a look at the mysterious lord. When he's captured for trespassing, Kylo fears a whipping yet the lord takes mercy upon him and invites him to the ball as his guest. As the night progresses, Kylo finds himself falling for the bewitching lord. Upon the stroke of midnight, Kylo flees from the ball, losing one of his gloves in his haste. When the lord searches the homes wanting to return the glove, he finds Kylo badly beaten. Realizing he is being abused, Lord Vincent returns that night to rescue the young man. Soon Kylo is pulled into a world of darkness, blood, and vampires. A sequel is available: The Angel And The Vampire. https://www.wattpad.com/story/288753789-the-angel-and-the-vampire-the-sequel-to-angel This is my second entry for the Open Novella Contest 2021. My prompt is number 32: "All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream" Edgar Allan Poe This is a Cinderella meets Dracula tale. Warning for typical Christine darkness, abuse, death, vampire stuff, sex, bad words, and other mature themes.

"When I think back on it, I don't think about the cameras or the tapes; it all bleeds into one another. It felt like we forgot we were shooting a movie." Timothée Chalamet | Call Me By Your Name (2017), actor "So he [Timothée] finished his piano lesson, and then the two of us jumped on bicycles. He'd been in Crema for weeks at this point. So we got on the bicycles and he showed me around the whole town. And we rode and we went to different restaurants, different gelatrias, like, all the stuff. And it was incredibly analogous to what happened in the movie. I was the new guy in town, and he showed me around. And I fell in love with just, like, you know...Timmy. I mean, it was amazing. It was an amazing experience..." Armie Hammer | Call Me By Your Name (2017), actor "It is not only making a story about the characters that he's depicting, but...also making a sort of documentary on the actors who are playing their characters. I tried to do that as well. But not in an obstructive or sneaky way. I am very open. But I am not gonna be happy and I am not gonna give up until I see a complete surrender from the performers to the camera in order for the camera to be able to make both the storytelling and the X-ray of who they are... So when we got that, we got these great performances and got this invisible force that is the intimacy between Timothée-uh, uh, Elio and Oliver." Luca Guadagnino | Call Me By Your Name (2017), director #1 - charmie | March 10, 2022

An angel and demon, inevitably bound together by unknown depths of the universe and connected through an even greater force known as love. Xavion sees no joy in this supposedly fair world rebuilt by Yahweh and his angels. His neglectful upbringing and specist society caused an endless cycle of self-pity and loathing for others. Malach, the soon to be ruler of Heaven, is a particularly bothersome nuisance who seems to be hell-bent on ruining Xavion's life every chance he gets. Can two creatures destined by birth to despise each other learn to look beneath their initial layers of superficiality? Content/trigger warning: This story contains strong language, violence, atypical religious themes and sexual activity.

[BxB] Prince Lucas thought that life would be perfect when he made Snow White his wife-to-be. At least, that was until her twin brother waltzed into his life and obliterated everything he knew. He had her same pale skin, blood red lips and dark, ebony hair, and yet he stirred him up in ways his sister never had. With his wedding fast approaching, Lucas's forbidden attraction to his almost brother-in-law may be the least of his problems, as something far more sinister lurks in the darkness, threatening everything he holds dear. A reimagined telling of the tale of Snow White, and the prince that isn't truly hers. ~~~ #1 in LGBT (29/09/19) #1 in forbidden (28/09/19) #1 in gayfiction (28/09/19) #1 in magic (04/07/20) #8 in boyxboy (02/04/20)