Jujutsu Kaisen Au. -- CRACKFIC No one's dead, everyone's alive. It's a crackfic... Nothing makes sense... Things get wild.. Nothing is meant to be taken seriously. It's just supposed to be funny..

── 𝘉𝘖𝘉 𝘙𝘌𝘠𝘕𝘖𝘓𝘋𝘚 𝘟 𝐺𝐸𝑁𝐷𝐸𝑅 𝑁𝐸𝑈𝑇𝑅𝐴𝐿 𝘙𝘌𝘈𝘋𝘌𝘙 𝘟 𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘝𝘖𝘐𝘋 𝘈𝘕𝘋 𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘚𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘙𝘠. 𝘿𝘼𝙍𝙆/𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀𝙎𝙄𝘾𝙆 𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙈𝙀𝙎 ᵎᵎ Following your resignation from the position as leading clinical psychologist for the CIA, you'd thought that maybe, 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺, you'd have a moment to unwind. Bless your soul. Because a call from Valentina says otherwise. 𝘈𝘱𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺, the man that all but swallowed New York into an abyss of darkness and mental torture needs professional help ⎯ plus a friend to boot. Accepting the offer had, undoubtedly, been your first mistake. Falling in love with him? A close second. You'll come to find that sweet ol' Bob isn't just 𝘉𝘰𝘣. Not by a landslide. He's a package deal of three. And somewhere along the way, you find yourself collecting them all. But hasn't anyone ever told you not to feed strays? They come back. Again, and again. Because strays seek attention and warmth. Strays yearn for kindness and care. Strays will bite, attack, 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘯𝘥 their territory when they think that comfort's being threatened. Just know Bob's canines will sink in bone deep, because once you let him in⎯ letting you go was never an option.

(𝐕𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬!𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐱 𝐈𝐬𝐞𝐤𝐚𝐢'𝐝!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫) "What's your type?" "Tall, dark and handsome. Who's your favourite Sanrio?" "Pompompurin" "You basic bitch-" You didn't know being constipated was an unspoken rule that led you to be in Jujutsu Kaisen. Neither did you know you would have a special-grade companion, plushie-triggered curses and being naturally born with positive energy. How hard can it be? (𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐘 𝐌𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐔𝐊𝐎-𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍)

[ 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐱 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 ] ❛𝙄 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙄'𝙡𝙡 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙮𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛.❜ One night is all it takes to turn the best job you've ever had into a fight for survival. One night, one lost child, and three bloodthirsty animatronics. (featuring the fnaf oc that I made in middle school and never let go of) Highest Rankings: - #1 in Monty Gator x Reader - #1 in Roxanne Wolf x Reader - #1 in Glamrock Chica - #2 in Sundrop x Reader - #3 in Moondrop x Reader - #3 in Security Breach x Reader