I had never needed anyone. I didn't know what it was like to need a person until I met him. I needed him. He looked at me as if there was something inside me worth looking at. I hated him for it. Why? Because I could see myself loving him. If only things had happened differently.

I had always thought rugby was all I was. That's what I believed defined my worth. Until I met her. From that moment, I found myself searching for her in every little thing I did. Any excuse would do just to be near her. She was in my head and I couldn't shake her-not that I wanted to. I loved her. I craved her. She had been a tough one to get. And even harder to keep.

They say the hardest battles are the ones fought for alone. That's a lie. The hardest battle is realizing you've gone from needing a hero to survive the day, to finally owning the quiet, terrifying strength it takes to build a future that is not just yours, but ours. We had our ambitions: his on the pitch, mine in the track. We had our timeline, drawn up neatly and logically, ready for the world of grown-ups. But the world laughs at timelines. It laughs when a simple twist of fate changes the whole equation. The craving had been intoxicating. The needing was a lifeline. But this? This was undeniably, completely, mine.