When the quiet girl in Clayton Hugh's chemistry class comes knocking on his door at five in the morning barely covered up in her little pajamas, inattentive, and drooling like crazy, he has no choice but to take her inside. But once Lucy Walker wakes up inside a room she has never seen before wearing an over-sized t-shirt and gym shorts, you can imagine the pure panic setting in her. The subtle addition of Clayton entering the room shirtless doesn't help much either. After three years of fawning over him, leave it up to her sleepwalking to finally get Clayton Hugh to notice her.

Jas gives me a sympathetic look. She sighs heavily, long nails tapping against the wooden table, dodging the 'Missing' posters scattered all over the surface. "Maybe," she finally says, "Just maybe, he doesn't want to be found, Ava." I clench my jaw. "No. I refuse to believe that. He's not like that." "What do you know?" Jas snorts, finally withdrawing her hand from the table and turning back to look at me. "You don't even know him." xx Ford Wilson was in three out of four of Ava Jackson's classes. They had one mutual friend, did a project together once in sophomore year, and had the same lunch. When Ava's car had broke down, she had even ended up parked outside of Ford's house, asking for gas. In Ava's life, he was everywhere. And yet, she didn't notice him until he was nowhere to be found.

After an amusing banter at the library with a mysterious guy, Savannah hopes that it's the last she'll see of the bickering boy. Come to find out, he's a new student at her school who just so happens to be a junior, much like Savannah. He feels the need to stick around her even though she is the target for childish rumors, gave him the wrong number purposely, has all the comebacks for his pickup lines, tried to run him over with her car, constantly embarrasses him, and repeatedly tells him to 'get lost' or 'shove off.' During their many adventures, not only do they get into many bad situations but they make a few enemies along the way. Will his determination to befriend this stubborn girl spark a friendship between the two or a special kind of hatred? <><><> WARNING: I wrote this story when I was fetus- even more fetus than I am now. I was thirteen and I finished it two or three weeks after I turned 14. That means that this story has grammatical errors. So please, read at your own risk. --- I DO NOT TAKE CREDIT FOR THE PICTURE IN THE COVER. I SIMPLY SLAM DUNKED SOME WORDS ONTO IT. I DON'T OWN THE PICTURE. I SIMPLY FOUND IT ON APP.

They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)