Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

Sometimes all you really need is a place to call home. * * * NOTE AS OF 04/2026: This is the old version of the story from 2012. It is currently being reprised, which you can also find under my profile here in wattpad as "5:48 [reprised]"

maybe he can help me touch.

A collection of notes, a public library, two teenagers, and zero spoken communication.