❝I- what? What are you talking about? Who is this?❞ ❝Well the bathroom stall says that this number is the gateway to a good time, and unless you're trying to say that a bathroom stall is lying to me, I think I need a little more information to be sold. Do you have like a yelp page I could look up? Past customer reviews? How many stars out of five?❞ ❝What are yo- oh my god, I'm going to fucking kill Marie.❞ (alternatively called: a lot of people shit with pens) written in dialogue // cover by xhemmingshugsx

Unknown Number: Well you gotta give me something! Hell, anything! You can't just dangle this in front of me for the rest of my life! Me: I wasn't planning on it... Unknown Number: Blackmail is a crime, you know! Me: I'M NOT BLACKMAILING YOU! Unknown Number: WHERE'S YOUR SENSE OF ADVENTURE! YOU GET AN OPPORTUNITY LIKE THIS AND YOU SEIZE IT!! JEEZE!!! AND HERE I WAS HOPING YOU'D DO SOMETHING!!! Me: ...you want me to...blackmail you??