"i'm scared. i'm scared because nobody has ever made me feel the way you make me feel. i'm scared because nobody has ever cared for me as much as you do" warning: this book contains mentions of, abuse, self harm, sexual harassment, assault, rape and other mature content. this book is inspired by "come out and play" by billie eilish. it's also inspired by "cinnamon girl" by lana del ray and "gilded lily" By Cults. Also the vibe of it is the MV for 'male fantasy'

for joli, it was always about being in control of everything. until she met billie, who had grown to love the feeling of never being in control. tw: contains graphic mentions of eating disorders, self harm, overworking, panic attacks etc.

Rowan, a girl of a coy and passive nature, did not expect to be flung into someone else's life so abruptly- and graphically at that. It could have been anyone, but for a reason unknown to her, the universe chose her. The life she stepped into belonged to another girl, that to Rowan's dismay, was unaware of how prized of a possession she truly was. She did not value every breath she took or even the supple skin on her body. But her helpless soul was not to blame. Billie struggled with a list of issues doctors of all kinds were unable to diagnose. Everyday was a fight against her conscience and she feared, a day would come in which she would lose. In a way, the pair were star-crossed. Rowan knew the severity of Billie's situation and her undeniable inability to be helped, but still, she could never forgive herself if she had turned a blind eye and walked away after that single, dark and rainy night. She often questioned whether or not her actions were fueled by an honorable sense of selflessness or its much more complicated counterpart- selfishness.

When seventeen-year-old Olivia takes a midnight walk in the downtown streets of la with the intention of taking her own life, she meets someone she never thought she'd ever see again. As Olivia struggles with multiple mental illnesses, Billie and her reconnect after several years. Billie doesn't just save her that night, she helps Liv begin the process of loving life again. Depression Anxiety Eating disorder Self-harm gxg Achieved 🥈 in #billieeilish 🥈 in #gxg 🥇 in #eilish

𝒮he's the headlights I'm the deer. billie eilish 𝔁 fem!oc set in 2024 - 2025 #1 billieeilish #3 enemiestolovers

a comfort book for everyone who's struggling <3

In the midst of dealing with a plethora of things, ranging from something as serious as an eating disorder to AP physics, Leilani Carter is forced to introduce herself to Billie O'connell. Memories from her past has left Billie with permanent caution tape around her heart. The dark gray-haired girl tends to do her own thing, subconsciously isolating herself from the rest of the world. Despite countless efforts, no one has been able to figure her out and Billie likes it that way- That is, until she meets Leilani. The pair possessed undeniable chemistry that simply cannot be ignored no matter how hard they tried. Brought together by chance, they become, just two people, taking it one step at a time, trying to help the other heal...