The smartest children never remain in Johnson City Middle School. Why? It's not because they drop out, get removed, or can't deal with the educational modules. It's because the teachers do not allow smart kids. The Rules: 1: No asking questions. Just do as we say. 2: Never state your opinion. It doesn't matter. 3: Don't read anything outside of this school. 4: Never deny a teacher's request. 5: Never tell us no. 6: Respect us. 7: No cellphones, laptops, computer usage. 8: No cursing. Punishments Disrespect: Gets hit. 5 strikes/atonement Liars: Tongues grated Stealing: Left hand chopped off Speaking your mind or out to a teacher: Mouth sewed Caught outside of class without a pass or good reason: Feet are burned by fire Caught with cellphone: Acid poured into ears

CURRENTLY IN THE PROCESS OF BEING REWRITTEN!

"What's your name?" He tries again. Should I tell him so he can shut up? Or will he just keep talking. "Fine. Don't tell me. But personally I think we are going to be great friends. Maybe I should tell you a bit about myself so you can trust me. Stranger danger and all that. That's why you're not talking to me right?" I don't respond. "So here it goes. My name is Alexander Daniel Woods. I have amazing black hair and piercing green eyes as told to me by various ladies. My major is in marketing. My blood type is O positive, my social security number is 45-" "Oh my god, do you ever shut up?" I finally break. :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Sometimes when you least expect it, you find the one person you never knew you needed. Even if they annoy you at first. When senior college student Amelia gets paired with Alex for an English assignment, she thinks she'll never survive class with his overly cocky attitude. Little do they know, both will be leaning on each other when their respective pasts come back to haunt them. ______________________________________ Notes: Completed *Highest rank : #8 in Chicklit *Featured on on Chicklits "What's hot" list *Cover made by @Silver-masked-devil

~complete~ Charlotte is as sweet as a strawberry. She's the kind of person who will drop everything just to help you, just to put a smile on your face. She's as sweet as the sugar that constantly runs through her bloodstream, and as excitable as the rush that comes with it. And then there's Benjamin, who's as sour as a lemon. The last thing on this Godforsaken planet he wants to do is acquaint himself with her. While Charlotte is kind and caring, he's rude and vulgar, while she's friendly and innocent, he's crass and mean. So how in the hell is that going to turn out?

Henley agrees to pretend to date millionaire Bennett Calloway for a fee, falling in love as she wonders - how is he involved in her brother's false conviction? ****** Henley Linden's brother is in jail for a crime he didn't commit, and she'll take any job to raise the money needed to free him. Soon, she's agreed to pretend to date millionaire Bennett Calloway for ten thousand dollars, so his mother will ease up the pressure on him to find a wife. But once Henley is enmeshed in Bennett's world, he falls for her, and she starts to have feelings for him as well. Despite her romance with Bennett, as she grows closer to the Calloways, Henley realizes they are somehow involved in her brother's conviction. Journeying deeper into a world of wealth and conspiracies, Henley is forced to rely on Bennett, though doing so could cost her everything. [[word count: 200,000-250,000 words]]

They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)

Now a digital pilot for SYFY The Society knows when we're going to die. They imprint it on our arms at birth. I was supposed to die yesterday. I'm the girl who's Expired. Winner of the 2020 Readers Choice Awards Cover by @Forcade