The first time Sebastian tried to kill himself he was 15. Since then all he can think about is bringing his pain to an end, but at what cost. Will he succeed and bring a world of pain down on those who care? Or can they save him before it's too late? *********** This story contains mentions and acts of self harm, suicide, sexual themes, rape, underage, and many other triggering and mature themes. Read at your own risk. Stay safe! :) *********** I still need to go through and correct spelling and grammar errors so it's not 100% finished. *********** Please consider giving this story a vote if you like it! Don't be afraid to leave comments, I really love feedback. The interaction I get from viewers really helps me edit and become better at my writing. It also inspires me to continue, so...if you want more give me motivation. :) Thank you!

zhang hao came to college with a violin case and a deathly fear of eye contact. love? dating?? speaking to strangers??? he could never. (he could barely speak to his own parents.) but the universe-or maybe just kuan rui, his loudest, glitteriest best friend and dormmate-has other plans. enter hanbin: psychology major, cafe prince, and full-time mom friend who radiates gentle warmth like a human space heater. with anxiety attacks, tear-streaked presentations, late-night blanket rescues, and strawberry shortcakes baked in matching aprons, zhang hao slowly, so slowly, starts to believe he's allowed to take up space-and maybe even love someone. (and maybe be loved back.) a tender, chaotic, pink-blanket-wrapped story of healing, queer joy, found family, and two boys falling for each other one breath, one panic attack, one sleepy red panda plush at a time.

Watching your every steps baby~~ -PSH

❝𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘢...❞ 𝘚𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘦𝘵𝘭𝘺. 𝘚𝘶𝘯𝘰𝘰 𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘸. 𝘚𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘮, 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦. ❝𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨?❞ 𝘚𝘶𝘯𝘰𝘰 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘴. ❝𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥.❞ Sunoo and Sunghoon are often ordered to be clingy in front of the cameras in order to gain more fans for their group. It works. But, when Sunghoon starts to question how fake it is on his part, things begin to become confusing for both of them. Especially after Sunghoon gets drunk and confesses his feelings to Sunoo. The only question then is: does Sunoo feel the same? This is a completely fictional story and not based on actual events unless stated otherwise. Any similarities are coincidental. The only thing real about this story is the names of the members (for obvious reasons). 𝗛𝗶𝗴𝗵𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: #1 ᴇɴʜʏᴘᴇɴ #1 ꜱᴜɴɢʜᴏᴏɴ #1 ʏᴀɴɢᴊᴜɴɢᴡᴏɴ #2 ᴘᴀʀᴋꜱᴜɴɢʜᴏᴏɴ #2 ꜱᴜɴᴏᴏ #2 ꜱᴜɴɢꜱᴜɴ #2 ɴɪ-ᴋɪ #3 ᴋɪᴍꜱᴜɴᴏᴏ #9 ꜱᴜɴꜱᴜɴ 𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗣𝗟𝗘𝗧𝗘𝗗 Started: June 25th, 2023 Ended: July 25th, 2023 (Reposted May 13, 2024)