There's something inside Evan, digging through his skin, leaving a trail of tunnels through him. Can he find relief?

Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

Meet Piper Hollows. She doesn't like to go out if she has the choice not to. She has things to do and is perfectly fine being in her room on Saturday nights, with her huge pride, her many piles of books, and her sketch pad full of the stick figures she loves to doodle. Starting to notice Piper's isolation from other people, her friends make a bet with her: if she can go on 12 different dates, then they will stop bothering her about her social preferences. But if Piper doesn't go, then they will forever continue to bring it up. As stupid as it sounded, Piper finally saw a way out and to prove that she just wasn't the type to go out and still have her pride intact. She relunctantly agrees, but things go unexpected such as: knocking out (it was an accident, she swears) one of the popular girls in school, actually having to attend detention (the horror!), maybe even making some new friends along the way, and probably having some of the worst dates possible. But who knows, this could be kinda fun... © Copyright 2012 All rights reserved

After some rough years Matthew O'Neill is trying to piece together a new life with all good things. A pretty, if maybe super religious girlfriend, a group of close, if somewhat crazy friends, a loving, if a bit unusual family. But his mind is still a mess sometimes. Especially when it comes to Allen Thomas. The new dorky student with the wild red hair and bluest eyes ever who just can't seem to leave him alone. Or is it maybe the other way around? _______________________ There was a split second when we smiled at each other in understanding, a tiny fragment of the reality, that we didn't have anything in common. I quickly looked over to the lockers again, but new kid didn't seem to get it, still smiling in the corner of my eye. "I didn't quite catch you name?" "Matt. Actually it's Matthew," I said for some reason, like I seriously cared. "Right, I'm terrible with names. Especially today, I feel like I've met a thousand people already. Matthew, I'll remember that." Well he wouldn't have to. I kinda liked the dry, soft way he said my name though, and the fact that he actually said it, not just the short version, that too many times sounded like a sheep baahing. I actually kinda hated it when people called me Matt.

Sam is the most promising swordsman among this year’s crop of Paladin trainees...and knows it. Brash, cocky, and unbeatable with a sword (well, almost), Sam is the kingdom of Thule’s best hope against the violence wrought by demons. The only problem is that Sam is really Lady Samantha, daughter of the seventeenth Duke of Haywood, and if her father has his way, she’ll be marrying a Paladin, not becoming one. But Sam has never held much interest in playing damsel-in-distress, and so she rescues herself from a lifetime of boredom and matrimonial drudgery. Pity that Tristan Lyons, the Paladin assigned to train her, is none other than the hero of her childhood. He hasn’t recognized her as Lady Samantha--yet-- but if he does, he’ll take away her sword and send her packing. Sam is not the only trainee hiding secrets: Braeden is a half-demon with a dark past that might be unforgivable. Sam, Braeden and Tristan set out for the western coast, charged with rooting out an infestation of demons that has made the West unlivable. As they travel, they uncover a deep-seated corruption of power that threatens to derail everything they stand for. Rebellion stirs, led by a rival faction of warriors who tempt Sam to join them with an irresistible offer. A war between men is coming, and Sam must pick a side. Will saving the kingdom cost her life -- or just her heart? Reminiscent of Mulan, but with a medieval fantasy twist, Paladin is a tale of adventure, action, and romance.

Let's start the apocalypse.

In which Beckham Lenox, a battered Quebecois who somehow wound up in New York, aspires to navigate the inner workings of everyone's mind but his own. {under mild construction.}

Caleb Diaz is not an animal lover. At all. So when his friend Marnie shows up on his doorstep with a birthday card and a kitten for his big 1-8, he's more than a little peeved. Cats stink, no questions about it. And with graduation less than a year away, Caleb's hardly got the time (or patience) to cope with running around after a deranged and messy fur ball. Marnie refuses to be swayed, though. In fact, she's already gone and enlisted the help of her brother Daniel, an animal enthusiast who's convinced he can convert Caleb once and for all. Armed with kitten milk and scratch posts, the trio venture down the road of parenting - a journey that may or may not involve sleepless nights, pet-oriented fights and infinite weirdness. [cover by -sykes]

He was a billionaire, I was a bellboy, can I make it anymore obvious? It all started one fateful afternoon in summer of 2012. I was working as a bellboy at the Trump Hotel in Hong Kong on an internship program. This was my first time in a big city. It was all I could have ever dreamed of, and more. But little did I know, it was all about to change. Follow me on twitter.com/aguywithnolife Please note, this story may contain mature humor that isn't suitable for all ages.

"No homo." His hot breath fanned my face as he pushed me against my locker. I blushed. Then, he kissed me and I didn't report him for sexual harassment because he's hot. Cover by @Lena-Presents