Dan has given up on ever being happy. Life has lost its meaning, and everything he seems to do causes some form of destruction, and Dan is so tired of destroying the things he used to love. He's lost so much, and he's scared of losing Phil, the only thing he can bring himself to care about. But Dan can't see past his own depression that Phil is struggling with bulimia, and that he's equally good at hiding his dark thoughts as Dan. And as Dan walks through the streets alone at night getting high to escape from the hell he's trapped himself in, will he be able to see that maybe the happiness he craves so desperately is not on the streets in the form of white pills, but inside his own apartment in the form of Phil Lester? Or will it be too late... WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, USE OF DRUGS, VIOLENCE, HIGH LEVELS OF ANGST, BULIMIA, AND THEMES OF SUICIDE. IT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNGER READERS.

first you inspect me, then you dissect me then you reject me. i wait for the day that you'll resurrect me.

Dan Howell is not a happy person. He relies on any type of high to get him through each day and he's never been in love with any girl he's dated. His parents want him to marry his girlfriend of two years, but he can't bring himself to marry someone he doesn't love, and who doesn't love him. He meets a man named Phil. Phil is so great, and has a lot in common with Dan. You'd think they'd be the perfect couple after they hit it off after only a day of knowing each other and become fast friends. Too bad they're both straight. Too bad his job causes him to lie to Phil perpetually. Too bad his feelings cause him to lie to Phil constantly. Can you look anyone in the eye and tell them you love them when you're lying about who you are? How long can you live on lies before everything falls apart? //Gay slang : Extensive Drug and Alcohol usage : mentions of depression and suicide : extensive strong language : Explicit sexual content

Dan Howell is just a boy in his school; nothing more, but he's seen as less, and feels like less, until one day there's a new kid in town; Phil Lester. And what are the odds that Dan might talk to Phil? Slim. But of course, Phil ends up sitting next to Dan, starting something without knowing; an unbreakable friendship, an unbelievable story. Just kidding, it's about as unbelievable as a phan fiction. - Tw: bullying, harsh words, self harm, etc. Because does a Phan fiction without self harm even exist? Oh right, they do, I've read some really good ones actually..okay nvm that, ily all if your reading xx <3

Daniel Howell is a relatively normal boy with a normal social life and a normal family. He attends high school in Wivenhoe along with the rest of the village. Overall, a boring character. Philip Lester is also a relatively normal boy, with no social life besides a woman called Mrs Roy and his mother. Phil does not attend school, yet. Phil's past haunts him, and his body is a constant reminder of how his dad died. But Phil needs to fit in, will Dan be the person to help him do that? boyxboy Triggers: there are mentions of death throughout the whole of this story, as characters are already dead as soon as the story starts. Also, Phil has PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) (look it up) if that counts as a trigger. Rated PG-13, but possible mature content in the future ©chloemitzu [PG-13] Parents Strongly Cautioned

Dan is tired. So, so tired. Mentions of suicide and self harm . all cover pictures are my own

Summary: Dan draws, Phil doesn't. Phil wears black shirts, speaks loudly, and glares at everyone. Dan wears grey jumpers, doesn't talk, and tries to stay invisible. Phil's reckless, Dan's not. This is as story about two polar opposites who mange to have a string of first times together, and maybe even a cute love story. Because unexpected things always happen, when you try to keep someone at arms length. Rating/Warnings: Mature Readers (READ AT OWN RISK). This story may contain topics of depression, cutting, anxiety, panic attacks, assault, gay slurs, and minor sexual content. If any of the listed content triggers you, please do not read. Please do not copy and post my story anywhere else or create an "adaptation" of my work. Thank you. Copyright © 2013. strawb3rryvib3s All Rights Reserved.

THIS FIC IS CURRENTLY NOT BEING UPDATED Phil is in need of some money and sometimes the best way to get it is to the do harder jobs. Model!Phil & Harsh!Howell || HIGHEST RANK: 52 in fan fiction ||

Deciding to play by his own rules, Dan embodies the dark part of his mind. Phil, wanting the best for him, tries to crawl inside his head to understand him... but Dan won't let him in so easily. *Inspired by Dan's video 'Psycho thoughts'.