BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC by WhatMurdah "In my humble opinion there's only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic." And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three. When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt's controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other-their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press. Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione's attention and pines for a real marriage with her-even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco's blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body. (With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson's career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione's Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco's right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.) NOTE: this is not my work i just know people like reading it here better than ao3

After three years of dating, Ron admits he cheated on Hermione for two of those years with Daphne Greengrass--and Harry knew all about it. Reeling from the betrayal by her friends and family, Hermione must rebuild her life and discover new bonds with an unlikely group including Theo Nott, Blaise Zabini, and Pansy Parkinson. What happens when Draco Malfoy, her first and deepest love, suddenly reappears in Hermione's life and she finds that her feelings have only grown deeper with time? OR: Hermione and Draco secretly dated at Hogwarts, he left after his trial, and now he's returned to win her back. --------- DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THIS FIC AT ALL. THE ORIGINAL STORY WAS MADE BY Twin_Flame_Blues AND IS ON THE AO3 WEBSITE. I loved this work of art on ao3 and brought it to wattpad for those that want to read it but like the wattpad format for reading better then the ao3 format. AUTHORS NOTE (COPY & PASTED FROM AO3) 1. This world has wizards, it doesn't need heteronormativity. Everyone is a little bit queer here. 2. We stan a Slytherin redemption story arc and a deeper investigation of the type of friends Harry and Ron really were to Hermione. 3. Yes, both my username and all the chapter titles in this fic are pulled from Taylor Swift songs. 4. There will be short flashbacks to Hogwarts days in each chapter, but this fic primarily takes place 3+ years after the end of the war (and though there will be allusions to sex in the flashbacks, the only explicit sex scenes will take place when the characters are all over 18). 5. We will eventually get to alternating POV's in each chapter, but we've got to do some setup first.

"If you weren't so important to The Dark Lord, I'd kill you right now" "If I still had my wand, you'd be dead already" Nine years after the Battle of Hogwarts, the war rages on. Voldemort is triumphant, but The Order continue to fight. Whilst on a rescue mission, Hermione Granger is captured and taken to The Dark Lord. When he cannot uncover her memories, or any secrets he can use to stamp The Order out once and for all, she's given to the most skilled Legillimens within his army.