_jenxkiss
Elizabeth Young.
Jesus, even saying her name in my head feels like I'm doing something I shouldn't.
She walks into a room and it's like-everyone just... shifts. Not in an obvious way, not like in films or anything stupid like that, but you can feel it. Like the air goes tighter. Like people sit up straighter without meaning to. And she doesn't even try, which is the worst part. If she was arrogant, if she was loud about it, I could hate her properly. But she's not. She's just... like that.
She's his ex. But she doesn't feel like an ex. Not really. Not the way he still says her name sometimes without noticing. Not the way he goes a bit softer when someone mentions her. Not the way I catch him looking at her when he thinks no one's paying attention.
And I hate that I notice. I hate that I compare.
Because she's everything I'm not. Everything I wish I was, if I'm being honest, which I don't like being.
And then there's the worst part. The part I'd never say out loud.
Sometimes, when she tucks her hair behind her ear, or when she laughs-quiet, like she doesn't want to make a scene-I feel something twist in my chest that isn't just jealousy.
And I hate that even more.
Because I shouldn't.
Because that's not... right.
Because God doesn't-
I don't even finish the thought.
I just swallow it down and tell myself it's just admiration.
It has to be.
***
Kathryn Aideen Horgan-Wilmot.
Ugh. Even thinking it makes me want to scream into a pillow.
Who names their child something like that and then has her turn out like... that?
I hate her.
I do.
I mean it.
She's the kind of girl that walks around like the world was made a bit softer for her. Not in a spoiled way-no, that'd be easier. It's more like... everything just fits her. Her life, her friends, the way people look at her. Even the way she laughs-it's all... right.
And now she has him.
My him.
I hate her for being easy to love. I hate her for making it look easy. I hate her- ...yes.
Yes, I do.