random. nonsense. more or less chaotic

caught in the limbo of love and depression. To my lover, stay. Initial date: 09/17/20

After a love that broke her taught her to question her own worth, Bea promised herself she would never risk her heart again. Until a certain man slowly finds his way into her life-and suddenly, she's asking the Lord not "Am I worthy of his love?" but "Is he worthy of the risk?" Through every prayer, sign, doubt, and moment of falling in love, Bea begins to discover that some love stories aren't written by chance-they're written through faith.

[ questions of the heart series #1 ] I don't recognize myself anymore. It feels like I was built around you... your presence, your voice, and your existence anchoring every part of who I thought I was. I move through life like a hollow version of someone I used to be, and I keep searching for myself in places you once touched, but all I ever find is absence wearing my name.

[ questions of the heart series #7 ] Something inside me is missing, and I can't name it anymore. I laugh, I breathe, and I try to exist... but nothing feels whole. It's like you left with a part of me I didn't even realize I was giving away. And now I keep walking through life feeling unfinished, like I was never meant to exist without you in it.

[ questions of the heart series #8 ] When everything becomes too heavy and the silence starts to swallow me whole, I find myself searching for someone... anyone to call out to. But all the names I once trusted feel too far away now. And so I'm left speaking into the vastness, hoping the universe still remembers how to answer someone like me when I can't hold myself together anymore.

things i wish i said things i wish you'd say

A poem