It's not hard to remember what my lines are when expectations were not kinda melodramatic. It is a time to mourn the loss of the most beautiful treasures I was forced to relinquish, a tender goodbye to fragments of my heart's desires.

কারো খুশিতে এমন খুশি হওয়া উচিত না যে খুশিটা পুরোপুরি ভ্রম এবং অন্যের বিপদ ডেকে আনতে পারে। কিছু মানুষ আছে যারা অন্যের খুশিতে খুশি আবার কিছু মানুষ এমন আছে যারা অন্যের খুশিতে দুঃখী। আবার কিছু মানুষ আছে যারা নিজের খুশিতে দুঃখী আবার অন্যের দুঃখেও দুঃখী আবার অন্যের খুশিতেও দুঃখী আবার নিজের দুঃখেও দুঃখী। দুঃখী মানুষের একটা জাত আছে। তারা কারো দুঃখ শোক দেখতে পারে না। মাছের প্রাণ জলেই। মাছের দুঃখ ও কেউ দেখতে পারে না। কিন্তু জল থেকে তুলে রান্না করে ঠিকই খায়। (Author's note: Even if the plot cringes you out, know that - a close relative of mine was lost for days and I wrote this story embroidering an imaginary moment that actually didn't happen. It is to make me think : "Nothing evil happened between those days". PS: That's definitely not dedicated to her but written only to get back my mental stability)

"I'm not an object which can satisfy your curiosity." "It's not curiousness or sympathy... " "Then what? " "I dunno... "

কিছু মানুষের শৈশবটা কেমন যেন অ্যাক্রেলিক রঙে আঁকা একটা ভাঙা ক্যানভাস। তারা তাদের চোখ দিয়ে,হৃদয় দিয়ে নিজেদের জীবনের নানা ধাপ দেখতে থাকে। সেসব ধাপের মধ্যে শৈশবের বুলিং, পারিবারিক অস্থিরতা, প্রিয় বন্ধুর হারিয়ে যাওয়া, নতুন স্কুলে নিজেকে মানিয়ে নেওয়া, বন্ধুত্বের রঙ বদলানো, আত্মপরিচয় খোঁজার জার্নি এগুলো প্রত্যেকটি অন্যতম। জীবনে অনেক কিছু বদলায়, কিছু থেকে যায়। এবং থেকে যাওয়া জায়গাটুকুই তাকে শেখায় কিভাবে ভাঙনের মধ্যেও নিজেকে কষ্ট করে গড়ে উঠতে হয়। ____________________________________ It's so cheap that I didn't read it twice. But I had to let out but again if I don't upload it here I think I will lose it someday soon.

Sequel of - "My sticky notes are all about you" Aaheli couldn't call out Arran's name properly before. She never ever might have called him with his name. But her high school diary, half of it's page was filled with the name "Shahriar Arran, Shahriar Arran, Shahriar Arran..." Taki is in the middle right now, to forget or to forgive? Why can't do both? Does weeping help? She thinks - Most of her life has been wasted now. They say- to be known as a good person, you have to put up with unfair things_ What's the definition of being a good human? You just have to swallow everything up. Maybe a robot can do that. Years after years and after years and years and years and just years; for a pretty long amount of period. And they said family is chosen by Allah for testing us. And again they ask why they chose to take their own life. Maybe everyone has a perspective and can't blame elders, can't blame any classmates, can't blame relatives but only thyself; for losing patience, for being heart - out of control.

I think there is no love story in any of the novels. They are just all kinds of sad, happy and sorrowful stories. I think we fell too fast, and the scattered rubble fell with us, like the stars in the sky fell like raindrops... It's hard to explain, what kind of theory is this? Am I very selfish? Human nature is selfish. Is it scary? However, it is more than just being scary and harbouring selfishness. "All suffering arises from desire" Aaheli thought... she always thought that! She had desired to live, but now she felt the opposite desire inside her, as inseparable as her breath. She knew that she would suffer from it, but she couldn't even begin to imagine the magnitude of the suffering required to achieve greatness in the chaotic, violent world outside. All she wanted now was to die. She remembered the philosopher Yang Zhu's belief that death should be neither feared nor revered, and funeral ceremonies were of no worth to the deceased. Perhaps death was the only way to escape the suffering caused by desire. And in the end , the desire was granted as a wish; maybe as a compensation. (Author's note: There's no connection with reality but some of its feelings are real. Don't mistake it to be some personal incidents. It's completely imaginary.)