To cover the traces of his depravity, Gu Xiao constricted himself to the role of a jester while being torn between the idealisation of others and reality. Gu Xiao was a slacker in school, constantly truanting and playing around. Unknowingly, when he gets glued to sitting next to Lan Yuning, the school's top student, a linked past that they never knew they shared, gradually came back to haunt them. These students weaved their way through the tangling threads of familial relationships, financial issues, examinations, and identity while enjoying most of their last high school year. [You killed him.] [If you didn't ignore him that time, then he wouldn't have died.] [It's in the past. If you keep thinking about it, it's only going to do you harm.] [Sometimes I wonder... if you would be happier if I was the one who died back then instead.] __ [I like you.] [Why... Why would you like someone like me...?] ___________________________ Warning: mentions of suicide, homophobia, and domestic abuse THIS IS A SLOW BURN so if you want to read something fast and spicy then this book isn't for you :') Cover: @CASZETTES

Hockey player extraordinaire Cameron Beckett not only has to deal with the pressures of making it into the NHL and graduating high school, but also figuring out his feelings for the boy next door. ***** Cameron Beckett is the ace and co-captain of his hockey team, but he's failing his math class so badly that his coach threatens to bench him if he doesn't improve his grades. He turns to Sam, his neighbor, only to start developing feelings for him that he's not ready to confront. Cameron pulls away, afraid that his sexuality will cost him any chance of being drafted into the NHL. But when Sam needs him the most, Cameron can't be there for him, making him question whether his fear of coming out is actually holding him back.