"A SATIRICAL NOVEL FILLED WITH DARK, RUDE, TWISTED, AND SADISTICAL HUMOR." Seventeen-year-olds Brandon and Bryan Savage are prodigies and twins -- and the best way to differentiate them is by the mole on their butt cheeks. Although they live together in a wealthy household, they study at different schools. BRANDON SAVAGE is the older twin, the gentle giant, the star quarterback, and every girl's wet dream. With a loyal best friend and a loving girlfriend, his grades are the only things hindering him. Desperate for a miracle, Brandon asks for his brother's help. If his studies don't improve, he'd risk his position on the team and any chance of graduating. BRYAN SAVAGE loves flaunting his wealth, banging ovaries, and bossing people around is his favorite hobby. Being the Student-Body President and the Director of a musical in their prestigious academy certainly made way for him to have more enemies (as if he has a lot of friends anyway). Gossips, ex-girlfriends, rivalries, and student riots add to the conundrum -- loyalties are tested and trust is hard to keep when everyone wants him impeached. When neither twin has the power to solve their own problems, they hope the other would do it for them. But it only turned out to be a recipe for disaster because of their stupidity. ↠ COMPLETED FIRST DRAFT, will contain errors - March 30, 2020 ↠ Features both Heterosexual and Homosexual relationships Copyright © JohnerZulueta. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Four bad boys, Ayden, Hayden, Brayden, and Okayden, try to form a school club to learn how to fight their bad boy instincts, or succumb to cliches trying. ******* When Ayden's six-pack appeared when he was nine, he realized that he was born to be a bad boy. Far for embracing it, he has dedicated his whole life to avoid every cliche in the book, from girls with mysterious pasts stumbling into him in the hallways, to always changing schools to be the "mysterious new kid," to ancient beings asking him to be a chosen one every other day. But a fated encounter with the captain of the football team makes him realized that he is not the only one cursed with being a bad boy. There are others like him. Alone, they are weak. Together, they are strong. Sort of. With the mission to finding others cursed with being bad boys, Ayden and his new friends will work together to make a school club where they can help each other avoid the trappings of cliche and finish the school year unscathed. That is, if they can convince the student council president to let them form the club in the first place. [SEASON 1 COMPLETED] [SEASON 2 COMPLETED] [SEASON 3 COMPLETED] Cover by @Feralshadow

When the spirit of a comatose man shows up in front of her, Alexis Howard is determined to help him find his identity. Little does she know, she's about to get sucked into a world of secrets, lies, and murder. *** Alexis Howard can see the dead. A gift that has done her more harm than good. Having been forced to move into a strange small town because of it, Alexis vows to cut all contact with the world of the dead. It's easy at first, especially since there don't seem to be any ghosts in Casa Nova. That is until a comatose patient of hers shows up as one. No, he's not dead. He's just semi-dead. And he has no idea who he is. Oh, and the police think he's a cold-blooded criminal who's involved in the disappearance of a 17-year-old girl. Believing otherwise, Alexis decides to help the spirit find his identity and becomes embroiled in the search for the missing girl. Her investigation also leads to a meeting with a peculiar cat, who seems to be much older than she looks. Just what exactly is the connection between the three? What kind of a cat gets shot and shows up without so much as a scratch a few days later? More importantly, who is John Doe?

Wattys 2017 winner in The Originals category!!!! This is NOT a romance between the main character and some hunky guy. These are the adventures of vampire Lena as she lives her life from day to day alongside her human flatmate Carmen. Together they encounter human rights activists (not what you think), overly attached exes, vampire geeks, quarrelsome shapeshifters, some really chill people, and a boy band. Let's Go For A Pint is a satire/genre parody revolving around tropes associated with vampire fiction (mostly tv and film portrayals but written works may be alluded) Season 1 is up. While marked as complete, expect ongoing editing and bonus content to appear. Cover made in Canva

Book One of the Modern Cliches series ~~~~~~~~~~~ Hi, my name is Sasha Elaine Wimbleton. I am your perfectly average twenty four year girl. The only thing I am slight above average for is the cynical and snark categories but I had an average childhood, an average school experience, average friends, marks, parents, and life. So in a life full of averages I have absolutely no fucking clue how to explain or count for the fact I was kidnapped by a self professed werewolf who claimed I was his undeniable, true love, one of a kind, soul mate. I'm sorry but I'm really not into that whole Stockholm Syndrome thing... This isn't mentioning his pack is in this long standing feud with his younger brother, Fergus, who wants him dead because of a reason he wouldn't tell me. I only met him a few times where he and Damien snapped and snarled at each other and exchanged threats. In which I was either being manhandled by Damien or with his Beta, Vince LeStat, a.k.a. the future father of my children. Stuck in a pack of testosterone filled fucking werewolves and being unable to actually make a move on the guy I dig because the guy who is obsessed with me has declared he will kill any man that touches me. All I can say is: Fucking kill me now.

Book three of the Modern Cliche Series ~~~~~~~~~~~ Sup, my name is Sammi Catherine Knapper. I am your permanently exhausted, introverted twenty-five year old. The only thing I am above average in is the fact I can pull all nighters and still get to work in the morning. Yes, I have the super human power called being a night owl who has insomnia. It's incurable, believe me, I've tried. So with that permanently exhausted exterior, I have absolutely no fucking clue how to explain or account for the fact I had a vampire crawl into my bedroom at night trying to figure out how the whole blood sucking thing worked. Yes, I some how managed to have a baby vamp attempt to test his new vampiric nature on me. Thankfully, Jake (surfer dude turned bloodsucker), was just as confused as I was by his vampire abilities, drinking blood to survive aside, and we set upon a mission to figure out just what being a vampire meant and what he needed to do as well as track down his one night stand vampire daddy to give him hell. Teaching a vampire how to be a vampire, meeting a sibling group of baby vampires, starting a night time inventory business, as well as being kidnapped by an alcoholic vamp daddy, all I can say is: Are you shitting me?

Book Two in the Modern Cliches series ~~~~~~~~~~~ Hey there, my name is Ethel Bethany Linde. I am your perfectly prudish, average twenty-five year old girl. The only thing I am above average in is the fact I made it to twenty-five while still being a virgin. Yes, I managed to make it through my hormone fuelled teen years and college years with my virginity in tact. Although not for lack of trying on my part. So with that prudish exterior, I have absolutely no fucking clue how to explain or count for the fact I lost my virginity to an Incubus who was summoned to torture and kill me, via sex. Which according to some ancient demon law means we are practically married in the (un)holy eyes of Hell. Yes, by some unholy, cosmic act of fuckery, I accidentally married a fucking demon. Thankfully, Mazvahr (Maz for short), was just as enthused as I was and we set upon a mission to find the man who summoned an unholy Incubus to do the dirty deed, in more ways than one, and kill him. Stuck next to a powerful demon, who requires sex to charge him up and has a super weird rope fetish, to hunt down the asshole who did this to me, all I can say is: F*ck me.