Ivan has spent his entire life in a place where silence is survival and conformity is currency. In his small, tight-fisted town, masculinity is a performance, and anyone who slips out of their assigned script becomes a target. Surrounded by casual cruelty, loud bigotry, and people who look through him instead of at him, Ivan has learned to swallow every part of himself that could ever be used against him. But the act is starting to suffocate him. Haunted by the version of himself he's been forced to bury, Ivan's days become a series of small symbols and quiet breakdowns: mirrors he can no longer look into, rainstorms he stands in like confessionals, a locked room full of childhood colors he isn't allowed to love, and a phone full of secrets he hides like a crime. Every touch is dangerous. Every look is a threat. Every desire feels like a sin he was born carrying. Cover Art Credit: @Ker_bers on x

⚠️ Author's Warning: This story is not particularly good-it is extremely repetitive, circles around the same topics, and can get frustrating very quickly. The writing often feels useless, annoying, and dragged out. If you don't have patience for flawed pacing and unnecessary repetition, I honestly don't recommend reading further. Proceed only if you're willing to endure it.