"As I sat on the toilet, I realized how badass I was being. First of all, I (kind of) broke into Walmart; Second, I was (kind of) plotting to steal toilet paper; and third, I was doing all this while a hurricane was brewing outside." Ellie wanted a quick trip to Walmart to buy some toilet paper for her mom. A minute in, a minute out. Instead, she got locked in. With her secret love, of course.

Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

''we don't just smoke for fun, darling'' [lowercase intentional]