Meredith Grey, always felt unloved, unloved, and nervous. After she meets her new boyfriend's wife, Meredith feels betrayed. yet more loved than ever before. Addison Forbes Montgomery, she's always spoke her mind, did what she wanted to, and hated being told what to do. After she meets her husband's girlfriend she divorces him. Then Addison finds Meredith in a supply closet, crying. After her failed attempt of tying to get her to stop she kisses her. (Some parts of the book will be actual scenes from the show. All rights to Shonda Rhimes and ABC.)

Meredith knew she wasn't like everyone else; every good thing in her life came to an end if she started enjoying it. Everyone left; she was never priority number one, and she would never be. Years of trauma induced from neglect and people leaving her had forced her into the darkness of her mind.... And when everything becomes too big, too dark, too overwhelming... She had two options, that's what she thought, option one: drinking tequila and hurting herself in multiple ways: pulling her hair, cutting, drinking inhuman amounts of alcohol... Or option two, letting herself become little again... Curling up in bed thinking about how life could have been for little Meredith if someone would have noticed. She would curl up as small as she could, thumb tucked between her lips, and a whimper escaping her shaking form. If just somebody would notice.... "There we go," Addison murmured, one hand rubbing gentle circles on Meredith's back. "I've got you. You're okay." I don't own any characters of Grey's anatomy or anything else from the Grey's anatomy universe.

It had been a few years since Addison and Meredith had fallen in love but will it work out or just leave them more broken than before. This is my first fanfic so the writing is terrible *Sexual content* *Addiction mentioned in chapter: Old ways*

"Addison doesn't deserve this. She doesn't deserve any of it." Meredith shouted. "Addison doesn't deserve what?" She heard a voice behind her and her heart sank. This is a MerAdd fanfiction. The story follows Meredith and Addison as they deal with feelings they didn't think they would ever have.

Meredith is a surgical resident at Seattle Grace but she's hiding something that has returned from her past. How long before anyone realises how not 'fine' Meredith is?