an epistolary "Paano naman ako?" Tanong na paulit-ulit, pero walang sagot na totoo. Ikaw 'yong laging nandiyan, laging buo, pero bakit sa dulo, ikaw pa rin ang talo? Ilang beses ka nang naghintay sa wala, umaasang may babalik, may magmamahal na tama. Pero habang sila ang pinipili mo araw-araw, sarili mo... kailan mo ba hahawakan at iibigin nang tunay? "Paano naman ako?" Sa mga liham na hindi mo naisulat, sa chat na dinelete mo, nandoon ang pusong pagod na-pero pilit pa ring totoo. Hanggang kailan ka magtitiis sa 'di sigurado? At kung ikaw naman ang mawawala... hahanapin ka pa ba nila, o tuluyan kang mawawala?

[ an epistolary | rebound series iii. ] A quiet plea to be loved, even if it means being someone's second choice instead of no choice at all.

rebound #5 | epistolary always the pastime, never the priority. always the temporary flavor, never the favorite dish. always the distraction, never the destination. after getting my heart broken so many times, i promised myself i would never be the one to pick up the pieces. nangako ako na hinding-hindi na ulit ako sasalo sa taong durog na sa huli ako naman ang dudurogin. i built walls. i made rules. i told myself I'd never be someone's option again but then your name appeared, and i threw all my warnings out the window. i thought our story would be different. that you were different. but i was wrong. kasi gaya ng lahat ng nauna sayo, sinaktan mo lang din ako. you treated me like a recipe you were just trying to test. you mixed me in, you tasted me, you enjoyed my sweetness... but deep down, you were already craving for a different taste. you just needed a rest, a distraction, a way to kill time... while i was here, ready to give you a lifetime i thought i would finally experience with you. in the end, i was just the side dish. i was pinaibig... pero hindi kailanman inibig. Started: 05/01/2026 End: 05/01/2026

rebound series #4 | epistolary he wasn't even my type. not in the way i used to describe it to my friends, not in the way i imagined the person i'd fall for. but somehow, he grew on me slowly, in ways i didn't even notice until i was already there. at hindi ko alam kung totoong matagal na silang wala ng kanyang nakaraan. that's what makes it worse. he never slipped and ever hesitated. he looked at me like everything was real. every message, every call felt rehearsed, felt like something i could trust. so i did. i trusted him enough to let my guard down. enough to believe that maybe this time, i wasn't just a passing phase in someone else's life. but i was. i found out the way no one ever deserves to, through silence that suddenly made sense, through truths that came too late, through the quiet realization that i was never the only one. i wasn't the choice. i was the cover. the space he filled while he was still holding on to her, the version of love he showed when the real one wasn't around. and now, i'm left here replaying everything, wondering which parts were lies and which parts i just imagined into something more. i regret entertaining him. i was only wasting my time to someone undeserving like him. Book Cover by: Mauria DATE STARTED: 05/01/26 DATE FINISHED:05/01/26

an epistolary "what if tayo na lang? kung ayaw mo, edi..." writer: @maxetispsych