A bunch of hilarious,pee your pants funny jokes in one place. Have a nice reading and Remember you can't spell swag without sw and ag!

Lucy is injured after an eventful case & Lockwood can't stand it. And in Lucy's last stand will she live? Will they live... Happily Ever After? Also including lots of other misadventures! Lockylepp

The dark haired girl paced before the familiar face in front of her, her eyes wicked and licked with shadow and her hands gripped tightly to the weapon she held, "Why does a moth fly directly into the flame? Perhaps its captivated by the beauty to be found in such pure recreation?" Her eyes remained locked on those of the ones before her, smile dancing in the flames around, "Or perhaps, it flies so surely into its own death because it believes the flames of rebirth will allow it a second chance at metamorphosis and perhaps that this time... It will appear a butterfly. Perhaps this is the only thing It can force itself to believe, while it burns." She gave a cocky smile, and lifted her gun to the familiar face. "So, Miss Armageddon. Tell me my answer. Why are you not dead?" The girl smiled and brushed a loose strand of hair from her eyes, looking up from the ground and tilting her head and lifting her gun from her side, "Because I am no moth. I am a butterfly." And the shot rang.

'We tackled in the sky, ripping and slicing at each-other. I screamed in aguish and cut it's face with shards of broken ice only to be healed over once more. The God chuckled once more and for the first time: spoke. "You cannot win this one child." It was the voice of Death. I shook my head, tears streaming my face, " Don't you remember...?" The sky and world was blurry, all I could see was the blanked face; all I could hear was Death, "I don't believe in inevitability..." ' *** Dedicated to my partner, Valiance Nightshade. Until the End of the world, my love, til the end of time.

This is the diary of Emma Gonzalez, a thirteen year-old spy suffering through her first year at a real school. Cover by: @books-r-better

*Without Me by Eminem plays faintly in the background* What, did you really think I'd only make one?

Ramona "Mona" Gray only wanted to catch a big fish. Instead she caught a boy the same height as herself. Adam Fink was trying to catch a girl to take home to his grandpa that only wanted him to fall in love... With anyone, he didn't care as long as Adam was happy like his parents had been when they had met. Ramona didn't want a boy to bring home to her mom. Her sister already had a man lined up for the both of them, and neither of those boys was Adam. No, they were "respectful" gentlemen. Which to Ramona meant they were snobbish and most likely sexist in their own subtle ways. They wouldn't care for her boy short hair or that she loved her beanie dearly and would never part with it. Still, with matching plaid button ups that were both bought from the same side of the store it was clear that these two would get along... Well mostly, Adam wasn't too keen when she pushed him off the dock. And Ramona wasn't too happy to jump in after him to save him when he could have easily stood up in the water. After she took to calling him princess while he continued to access that she needed to grow out some stubble since she was already working the "man of the wilderness" look. Their adventures of their senior year will be tricky, probably a bit roundabout, and maybe just a teeny bit romantic. Still its like Ramona always says, "high school is just some pond to practice life in, once its over you go down the river of college and then you're at the ocean of opportunity and depending on what kind of fish you are it could be scary and vast or it can be too small and lonely." Former cover made by -ichor

*** Ansel Adams, or Ance as those he knows tend to call him, is a bad man though he didn't consider that to be his fault. His father had been a bad man, his grandfather had been a bad man--hell as far as Ance knew he came from a long line of men were just a bitten rotten down at their core. Everyone that knew Ance knew he was a man who would never change, never give up his lifestyle, never settle down....Until Penelope Reynolds came sobbing into his life. Ance hadn't given much thought to offering this rich man protection as he took a load of stolen goods to market until he realized that the banging sound coming from the crate was a tiny little blond with pigtails, freckles and a bad leg. Suddenly he's struck with a choice. Save the girl and return her to her family or simply let life do what life does and chalk it up to bad luck for little Penelope--in the past the latter choice would have been easy, but not now. *** Audrey Reynolds had never been so afraid in her life. Her daughter has been stolen. Her daughter is all she has left in the world since the murder of her husband five years earlier. Desperate to find Penelope, Audrey enlists the help of U.S. Marshall Rodger York who also happens to be the man who's been trying to marry her since the day after her husband had been placed under the ground. They embark on a journey to find Penelope and Rodger has vowed to kill whoever took the girl away. But things go wrong and Audrey learns that the very man she went to for help might be the man responsible for every bad thing that's happened in the last five years...... Will Audrey find a way to survive but more importantly will she ever see her daughter alive again?

[MakoRin] Rin and Makoto are both romantics and are dating other people. But when they see each other at a party, they can't resist temptations and enter into a complicated romance. Will they find the love that they're seeking with their current partner or with each other?

Lisa a 17 year old girl that used to smile all the time until her mom died. She became very depressed and barley smiled then Mary came along they became best friends but Mary kept a lot of secrets. Then Lisa met matt and was happy with her two best friends. The 3 people she regrets meeting are Jessica, Britney, and Liam they make her life hell. Lisa tries to stay strong but when her two best friends betray her she's not sure if she can keep going