Having anxiety is hard especially when you live the the present of my life now ... People think your life is perfect , your happy , fall in love like a fairy tail , never have any thing bad happen , people like you . I like that version as much as the next girl douse , but trust me it's just not the truth ... When I met the most Important people in my life it was great . Thought nothing could get any better till something happened . The world stops spinning , my heart beat slows , I feel like I'm trapped , I can't breath , One of the YouTubers got rushed into hospital . Panic attacks take over my life , coming close to dying . Every thing is just one big blur . Crying , falling , my world has been crushed , destroyed . Life wasn't going so perfect as planned . I just want to wake up .

"When he walked past my room, with a male figure in a blue doctors coat, holding his arms and a cart that held his IV bags , with little tubes connecting to his nostrils, he looked angelic. How could someone so endearing, innocent and beautiful, have such an awful curse, to hold him back from so much in the world? But for the first time in my life, I'm thankful for my illness, and his too. For if we had not these illnesses, we never would've laid eyes on each other. We never would have shared a conversation about silly things like whether pigeons have feelings or not. We never would've shared intelligent conversations, like what we would down when we're older, if we made it to that. But what haunts me the most out of it all is, the one thing that killed me the most, led me to the one thing that made me feel the most alive." © All Rights Reserved To irwindrugs. Copyright 2014.

Before Zoe goes away to America, she discovers she's pregnant! Will she tell Alfie? Will she have an abortion? Will Alfie leave her? How will she tell her friends and family and viewers? Will she stop making videos? Read this dramatic, realistic story that you'll never want to put down, I can assure you that the ending is MASSIVE!!

Alfie changed when he quit uni. He got tattoos, piercings, and even got high once in a while. He always went to parties and ended up in bed with a random girl. only to leave her the next morning. He was never in a relationship, or so it seems. Until one night, the boys make a bet. The bet changed Alfies life, for the good. But when Zoe found out about the bet, her walls crumbled down. She wanted nothing to do with Alfie and his lies. What will happen to Zoe? What will Alfie do? Read on to find out more (:

'i can't look back' one moment. that's all it took for Zoe Suggs perfect new life to fall apart. in one moment, a text from her boyfriend tumbled into a car crash, and into the car sinking, slowly sinking, people screaming. drowning. 'zoella' looses her life in seconds, no time at all. her brother. her mom. her dad. alfie. louise. even little darcy, are all ripped away from her. drowning.