God, I hate him so much. He is the definition of asshole. "Ketchup and mustard?" My mother calls to us. "No mustard." we say in unison

"Peanut butter and jelly, with extra peanut butter, please." Holy shit marry me dude.

"Well that's the last jar" "Yeah, I know. " I say reaching for it "What if I want it?" he asks playfully No way in hell is this boy getting the last jar of nutella. (MICHAEL CLIFFORD SHORT STORY) (BOOK 1 IN THE FOOD SERIES)